I first called myself an atheist when I was either 17 or 18. I told my father that I simply couldn't believe that God was real anymore, and it was about as simple as that. There was no questioning of the actual religion or awareness of its subtle horrors; that didn't come until much later. His tone was dismissive and warning, one almost all of us have heard at some point: a combination of "you're just going through a phase" and "you'll go to hell".
The world was a very different place for atheists even 13 years ago. It made me feel alone and afraid. There were no atheist communities on the internet that I knew of, and I didn't, at the time, use the internet very often. I lived in Virginia, a thoroughly red state at the time. All that conspired to make me abandon this train of thought quickly, and I would actually go on to make the mistake of getting deep into Christianity for the first, and only, time of my life.
I suppose that was destined to go nowhere and it was only a matter of when, but there you go. I survived a temporary restoration of my faith, and now I feel no remorse or guilt about it. In spite of what some people enjoy telling me, I'm never going back.
The world was a very different place for atheists even 13 years ago. It made me feel alone and afraid. There were no atheist communities on the internet that I knew of, and I didn't, at the time, use the internet very often. I lived in Virginia, a thoroughly red state at the time. All that conspired to make me abandon this train of thought quickly, and I would actually go on to make the mistake of getting deep into Christianity for the first, and only, time of my life.
I suppose that was destined to go nowhere and it was only a matter of when, but there you go. I survived a temporary restoration of my faith, and now I feel no remorse or guilt about it. In spite of what some people enjoy telling me, I'm never going back.
