Educating boys on "no means no" is great, and educating women to be careful is great. Throughout my life, though, I have constantly seen women in uncomfortable positions that they feel they can't call out because it would cause public embarrassment, like Psykhronic's (I think it was you) story about the groping guy.
What women need to do is get loud and CALL IT OUT when men are being inappropriate, and not feel embarrassed by it. It needs to be OK to publicly shame men for inappropriate behavior, instead of laughing it off or just avoiding them. And in public laces like bars, usually bartenders and bouncers are happy to help you.
For instance, a few years ago I was at a bar playing pool with a friend (I am a pretty killer pool player), and some guys were watching us, and it was making me uncomfortable because I could tell they were talking about us. I took a shot and stood, and suddenly one of them is right there and puts his arm around my waist. Not exactly groping, but WTF? I don't know you and suddenly you're touching me like that? So I pushed him off and said, very loudly, "WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME? I DON'T KNOW YOU." The bartender came over and booted them and then told me that he had had problems with those guys bothering women before, and he was really happy for an excuse to bounce them.
My friend was embarrassed that I had made a scene, but again, WTF? Why should I be embarrassed? Obviously they engaged in this type of behavior all the time, and most women just put up with it? That's fucked.
Many uncomfortable situations escalate because women don't like to make scenes. I'm all for teaching girls never to be quiet when they feel uncomfortable.
What women need to do is get loud and CALL IT OUT when men are being inappropriate, and not feel embarrassed by it. It needs to be OK to publicly shame men for inappropriate behavior, instead of laughing it off or just avoiding them. And in public laces like bars, usually bartenders and bouncers are happy to help you.
For instance, a few years ago I was at a bar playing pool with a friend (I am a pretty killer pool player), and some guys were watching us, and it was making me uncomfortable because I could tell they were talking about us. I took a shot and stood, and suddenly one of them is right there and puts his arm around my waist. Not exactly groping, but WTF? I don't know you and suddenly you're touching me like that? So I pushed him off and said, very loudly, "WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME? I DON'T KNOW YOU." The bartender came over and booted them and then told me that he had had problems with those guys bothering women before, and he was really happy for an excuse to bounce them.
My friend was embarrassed that I had made a scene, but again, WTF? Why should I be embarrassed? Obviously they engaged in this type of behavior all the time, and most women just put up with it? That's fucked.
Many uncomfortable situations escalate because women don't like to make scenes. I'm all for teaching girls never to be quiet when they feel uncomfortable.
