RE: Conversation Skills
February 2, 2014 at 1:14 pm
(This post was last modified: February 2, 2014 at 1:22 pm by pineapplebunnybounce.)
I'm quite good with talking with strangers when I'm in the mood. These tips may help.
1. When in doubt, ask questions. Everyone likes talking about themselves, be interested and ask questions, most people would love that as many people do not really like to hear about other people's lives these days. As they're answering you, keep being interested, don't space out, it's rude. Don't ask about anything too personal, obviously. Ask about interests instead of information like what movies do you like instead of where do you live.
2. Relate something similar that happened to you or relate a fun fact that is related to what they said. If someone's talking about food, tell them you've never tried that before but have always wanted to. Details don't really matter, just go with the flow. If you completely cannot relate, just go back to asking questions.
3. Keep the tone light if you've just met someone, try to filter out the strong stuff. Make jokes (don't have to recite memorized jokes, just make like mini jokes out of what they said), keep a playful and light tone, but don't get too mundane. Some people are awfully boring and all they can talk about is how busy they are, if you've just met someone, they don't give a shit. Try not to rant about your life or anything unless they're ranting, then make jokes and change subject. They may be the ones ranting but they're going to associate that feeling with this conversation, so best to keep it light. Actually I do this because I can't stand people who rant unless they're friends, so I always turn the conversation to something else.
If they ask you something that is too private, just give a nonspecific answer and then smoothly change the subject. Don't clam up or say "I don't want to talk about that" as it may stop the conversation cold and that may make you feel uncomfortable or unsure of how to continue.
I used to be pretty shy, too. One of the most important things is to realize that you're way more aware of yourself than people are of you. You may be worried about what they think of you during a conversation, but they're too busy thinking the same to really judge you. If you run into people who aren't friendly, it really isn't you, there are plenty of people who are happy to make new friends. I once got completely ignored when I talked to a girl sitting beside me in the lecture hall. Didn't even turn her head. But I've also made really good friends by asking people out in other classes. It's trial and error.
1. When in doubt, ask questions. Everyone likes talking about themselves, be interested and ask questions, most people would love that as many people do not really like to hear about other people's lives these days. As they're answering you, keep being interested, don't space out, it's rude. Don't ask about anything too personal, obviously. Ask about interests instead of information like what movies do you like instead of where do you live.
2. Relate something similar that happened to you or relate a fun fact that is related to what they said. If someone's talking about food, tell them you've never tried that before but have always wanted to. Details don't really matter, just go with the flow. If you completely cannot relate, just go back to asking questions.
3. Keep the tone light if you've just met someone, try to filter out the strong stuff. Make jokes (don't have to recite memorized jokes, just make like mini jokes out of what they said), keep a playful and light tone, but don't get too mundane. Some people are awfully boring and all they can talk about is how busy they are, if you've just met someone, they don't give a shit. Try not to rant about your life or anything unless they're ranting, then make jokes and change subject. They may be the ones ranting but they're going to associate that feeling with this conversation, so best to keep it light. Actually I do this because I can't stand people who rant unless they're friends, so I always turn the conversation to something else.
If they ask you something that is too private, just give a nonspecific answer and then smoothly change the subject. Don't clam up or say "I don't want to talk about that" as it may stop the conversation cold and that may make you feel uncomfortable or unsure of how to continue.
I used to be pretty shy, too. One of the most important things is to realize that you're way more aware of yourself than people are of you. You may be worried about what they think of you during a conversation, but they're too busy thinking the same to really judge you. If you run into people who aren't friendly, it really isn't you, there are plenty of people who are happy to make new friends. I once got completely ignored when I talked to a girl sitting beside me in the lecture hall. Didn't even turn her head. But I've also made really good friends by asking people out in other classes. It's trial and error.
