Actually, the Bible DOES ban masturbation, and in no uncertain terms:
From Paul's epistle to the Peloponnesians, chapter 4, verses 8-13:
'And Jesus did goeth among the people of Sidon and spake He unto them; Verily I say unto ye that thou mayest not touch thy secret parts, or the privy members of thy flesh, for such is abomination unto the Lord. And the goo thou producest thereby is the Devil's own condiment. Further, ye shall not looketh upon the scrolls lately come up out of Egypt, which showest all manner of fornication and vileness and createth a fire in thy hidden places. And...and...erm...I'll be back in 20 minutes....'
Boru
From Paul's epistle to the Peloponnesians, chapter 4, verses 8-13:
'And Jesus did goeth among the people of Sidon and spake He unto them; Verily I say unto ye that thou mayest not touch thy secret parts, or the privy members of thy flesh, for such is abomination unto the Lord. And the goo thou producest thereby is the Devil's own condiment. Further, ye shall not looketh upon the scrolls lately come up out of Egypt, which showest all manner of fornication and vileness and createth a fire in thy hidden places. And...and...erm...I'll be back in 20 minutes....'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax