Does your god read?

[Wyrd of Gawd]

You christians believe that your god is everywhere. Essentially, he sees all and knows all.


Does your god read the internet? Because here are some statistics that your god has to keep up with.

144 billion – Total email traffic per day worldwide.
634 million – Number of websites
59.4 million – Number of WordPress sites around the world.
3.5 billion – Number of webpages run by WordPress viewed each month.
37 billion – Number of pageviews for Reddit.com in 2012.
2.7 billion – Number of likes on Facebook every day.
6.7 billion – Number of mobile subscriptions

I mean seriously. How can anyone be so stupid to think that your god is sitting on the shoulders of billions of people reading trillions of digital conversations. It seems obvious to me that your god would've long since smited me and Min for the shit we write about his son/split personality on a daily basis.

Basically, where is your fucking god?!?! Where is this all-powerful, all-knowing scary-ass mother fucker? Is he illiterate? Does he speak English? Because the shit I've been writing isn't exactly flattering. Anyone? Where is your limp-dick pathetic excuse for a god?
Is he reading this? Is there WI-FI in heaven? At the very least does god have dial-up?

God is everywhere, reading trillions of posts, emails and messages. What a goddamn joke.

The guys at the NSA keep track of all of that stuff everyday.