Sven, I'm truly sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies. I can only imagine how you may feel - I very nearly lost my father last year and the several months long ordeal was heart wrenching.
All I can say is to allow yourself to feel what you feel and work through it. It's not easy, and everyone deals with in in their own way.
All I can say is to allow yourself to feel what you feel and work through it. It's not easy, and everyone deals with in in their own way.