Dealing with beliver friends on Facebook

[cheme]

This is my first post here so hello everybody!

I am an agnostic scientist first of all. I'm having some problems with a couple believer friends on Facebook. I do have a many thoughts on the issue but I would like to hear others as well. It appears some of my friends are feeling "attacked" by my non-believer posts. I may have been somewhat reckless on a few things I shared recently but I suspect they would feel attacked by most anything I posted that was non-believer based.

I will add that none of the people whom have been vocal to me about this are nut-job fanatics posting religious nonsense and dancing with snakes. In fact neither of them have posted anything about religion on FB I can recall. They are the type of believers I can respect, are quite intelligent, and are mild-mannered.

So here is an email I got tonight.

"XXXXX, I don't want to argue with you and honestly for many years I was a non-believer as well, but many things have changed in my life that have caused me to re-evaluate what religion means to me.

Now, I write a private message because I don't really like to discuss my personal beliefs in public, regardless of who's reading it etc... It's not that I'm ashamed of my beliefs or anything like that, I just honestly don't believe it's anyone's business but mine.

But I see all your posts about religion and I understand that you are well within your right to believe and say anything you want, and I can at any point just stop paying attention to you if I don't like your message, but that's not my point.

My point is this: You seem to be a genuine and honestly caring man, you seem to care about others, you care for the under privelaged and fight for those who can't fight for themselves, is that a fair assessment?

I would argue that being religious and believing in God are not necessarily the sole property of the moral majority and the right wing conservatives.

I believe in God, I want my children to believe in God... I don't want to tell you that you have to, but I do feel a sense of remorse for people who I think are great people and they don't have an understanding of faith. Church and religion are much more than just giving money and getting dressed and going to church on Sunday's.

For us it's about support, community, morality, pride, enlightenment and faith. I'm not rich, I'm not overly good, but I do believe in God and I do see the advantage for my children to be involved in church.

I 100% believe you're wrong, but I do respect your right to believe as you do. However, I question your motivation and relentless mocking of those of us who do believe.

Please don't be angry, as I do respect you and have found you to be a great guy and am glad we're friends, but I wish you'd reconsider your postings of things that don't really need to be mocked... I mean I get the humor, I'm not a complete asshole... but I also get the difference between the Bible and a Spiderman comic book...

Anyway, these are just my thoughts, and I make no claim to being right or wrong on everything, but I know what I believe and I know there's more to life than what's here right now, that there's more out there, there is a creator, there is a higher power, there just is... However, I'm NOT trying to convince you, you can feel however you want... that's your right... but the mocking just seems mean spirited...

Let me know what you think, I definitely want your opinion...

XXXXX"

This is a really great guy and I went to high school with him and I don't want to disrespect him. I don't think he knows that I had three years of in-depth Jesus training at the Assembly of God Church when I was married years ago. I actually do know quite a bit about the bible and have read a lot of it. I think he honestly means well and is offended deeply by the things I post.

I do mock faith with my "shares" on FB, I admit that. There are times when I am angry about faith when I see people let their children die because they believe prayer will heal them. Honestly, I do feel believers are not making a rational decision about having faith and are almost always pressured into believing or are down and out and have nothing else to turn to.

At the same time I get religious postings in my feed all day long and I feel it deserves a response. As Christopher Hitchens said "...Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence...."

So what can I post that won't offend him is the question I think. How would you deal with this situation?

[Angrboda]

Obviously he doesn't 100% respect your right to believe as you do. He states that he questions your motivation and relentless mocking, yet doesn't say what those questions in fact are; ask him. And ask him why it's your responsibility to protect him from having hurt feelings.

It’s now very common to hear people say, “I’m rather offended by that”, as if that gives them certain rights. It’s no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. “I’m offended by that.” Well, so fucking what?

— Stephen Fry

[Welsh cake]

What this all boils down to is an old friend of yours wants to censor you because you're offending him by exposing the mockery that is organised religion.

Cry me a river. Tell him no one is forcing him to read what he doesn't like, and while he's more than free to "defriend" you, he has no damn right to tell you what to do or how to think. No one who ever tells you that is ever your friend.

I pity his kids that's all I can say.

[KnockEmOuttt]

I've had similar issues on this front. On the same token, I see the same people who complain about this stuff often do the same.

If he really doesn't like it, he can hide it in his newsfeed without even unfriending you. Otherwise, who is he to tell you what you should and should not post.

It sounds like he's trying to quiet you, because he'd rather his message be broadcast than yours, as well as sending you a friendly flowery "fuck you." It's a "nice" way of saying that he thinks you're wrong and basically should shut the fuck up. Naturally, I suggest you don't do that.

I would tell the guy you mean no personal disrespect, but it's your right to post as you please and he is at complete liberty to take measures not to see it (a fact he's apparently aware of anyway.) I'd say he's got some balls to have at you for this.

[Nine]

It’s now very common to hear people say, “I’m rather offended by that”, as if that gives them certain rights. It’s no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. “I’m offended by that.” Well, so fucking what?

— Stephen Fry

I love that Steven Fry quote.

[Gambit]

I would completely turn this on him. All you have to say is that you are presenting arguments that illustrate the credibility of the bible, in satirical form. As you do not hold a belief in God, you do not actually have anything to show respect to. Like really? Is he suggesting that you show respect to something that you don't actually believe exists? He said he thinks you are wrong in his email; well, tell him your posts are simply your way of telling believers that you think they are wrong. No harm no foul.

[downbeatplumb]

"If people don't like having their beliefs mocked they shouldn't have such funny beliefs."

[pgrimes15]

"I am a lover of truth, a worshipper of freedom, a celebrant at the altar of language and purity and tolerance. That is my religion, and every day I am sorely, grossly, heinously and deeply offended, wounded, mortified and injured by a thousand different blasphemies against it. When the fundamental canons of truth, honesty, compassion and decency are hourly assaulted by fatuous bishops, pompous, illiberal and ignorant priests, politicians and prelates, sanctimonious censors, self-appointed moralists and busy-bodies, what recourse of ancient laws have I? None whatever. Nor would I ask for any. For unlike these blistering imbeciles my belief in my religion is strong and I know that lies will always fail and indecency and intolerance will always perish."

Stephen Fry

This ones not bad too.

Regards

Grimesy

[Napoléon]

Tell him to unsubscribe from your posts if he doesn't want to see them. He should not dictate to you what you do and do not post.

[jackman]

hurt feelings do suck when it's someone you respect but i would not stop posting my view until i saw that all the religious folks on fb stopped posting religious posts. maybe take the dawkins approach, "well if believing god exists works for you and helps you sleep at night, then that's a totally different thing from saying there's truth in god's existence." (i shouldn't have quoted that, because it's paraphrasing what he said)

good luck.