Hi sven, my love and care goes out to you at this time. I've never experience loss and I couldn't imagine the pain you are going through. I know you will soon be happy again. Maybe you could go see a psychologist/therapist to talk about this? It could be really helpful. I wish the best for you, sven. Take care and safe, don't let negativity control you. There's so much beauty and strength to be attained through this event. Send me a message if you want someone to talk to. 
"Just call me Bruce Wayne. I'd rather be Batman."
