Father Disowned Me Because I'm Still Atheist

[Raeven]

---

You've done an amazing and difficult thing. You've escaped utter indoctrination. Many people can't, and it sounds like your dad is among those. For now, it sounds like you're going to have to live as though he is dead to you. There is no common ground at this point.

I don't know where you live, but it sounds like you need a network of support, and fast. I know I found a fantastic group of atheist friends through a Meet Up group. Ours is affiliated with Center for Inquiry - Skeptics. You might do a search for something similar through Meet Up and learn if there is a group near you. I know the biggest thing the formerly-religious folks who belong to my group miss is a sense of community that a church provides. The difference is, the Skeptic group comes with no strings attached. As you pointed out, they like you just because you're you. They may also be able to help you network for a new job and/or housing.

I'm sorry your dad is not going to be there for you at a time of your great need, but he obviously can't. His help comes with some pretty big strings attached. I don't think you can go back.

Best to you, and please keep us posted going forward.

You see, this is the kind of bullsh1t advice I'd been talking about.

You've taken one heated email conversation between father and son and then taken it upon yourself to advise he cuts of all ties with his father, because his father doesn't share the same beliefs as you?

Utterly incredible........if this advice was taken the world over, there would be literally millions of us with no family.

---

My, I certainly let this thread get away from me!

Look, Hoopington, cupcake, I'm not Mormon, but I grew up in Utah. I know a bit about the Mormons and the complete, cultish fealty they demand from their members. Shunning is a big tool in their toolbox. That is what the OP is experiencing. Before he can create any kind of new relationship with his father, he must fully repudiate the terms his father is currently offering -- which are not acceptable to him, the OP. Since the OP cannot comply with his father's demands to come back to the church, then the only option is for the OP to get on with his life -- as it seems he intends to do.

If at some point his father is able to draw a distinction between having a relationship with his son and having a relationship with his son with unreasonable demands attached, then possibly there will be an opportunity for a new relationship. His father has no right to demand that his son think certain things in order to have a relationship with him. Until Dad is ready to recognize that, what chance for a meaningful relationship can there be?

Sometimes the only choice you have is how best to lose.

The OP asked for advice, and this is mine. Like all advice, he is free to take it or leave it. Sorry that is so hard for you to grasp.