I wrote this for my union's newsletter in 2009. The local was known as Chapter 53 and the IRS management utterly hated our newsletter. I did my best to make sure they continued hating it. It's in the form of an interview with Richard Dawkins.
The discussion below includes events which far pre-date the Obama Administration but it does not appear to us as if there will be any improvement. Far from giving any thought to these matters the Obama Administration seems determined to bring back the highly discredited concept of “partnership” to the federal workplace. This grasping at such an absurd panacea tells us that problems of the federal workforce are far down the President’s agenda. Partnership was a fiasco before when tried under Clinton but conditions have gotten much worse in the interim. Careful consideration of recent trends in IRS management has brought Chapter 53 to a startling conclusion. IRS managers seem to be evolving into wild beasts ruled by primitive instinct with no conception of rationality in their decision-making functions. When “Partnership” was first proposed we tended to have a more rational and reasonable management. As this seems to fly in the face of evolutionary theory we contacted the famed Evolutionary Biologist, British Professor, Richard Dawkins to see if he could offer an explanation: Below is the interview:
Ch. #53: Welcome, Professor, good of you to take the time to discuss this matter.
Dawkins: Any time I can be of assistance.
Ch. #53: We have been dealing with an apparently sudden change in our managers. Far from evolving into rational beings they seem to be regressing into a bunch of wild animals. Blindly lashing out at anyone who enters their territory, for instance. Snapping like hungry lions at their own subordinates. Doesn’t this seem like a reversal of evolution to you?
Dawkins: Well, I think you are over-simplifying evolutionary science. You must understand the concept of “natural selection” and it is here I think you are going wrong.
Ch. #53: Please explain.
Dawkins: “Natural Selection” merely gives an organism a better chance to survive and pass along its genes to the next generation. Polar bears for example, evolved about 200,000 years ago when brown bears were isolated by glaciers. The brown fur gave them no cover in the snow so bears with the darkest coats were at a disadvantage. Those bears whose coats were lighter had a corresponding advantage and they were the ones who survived and passed the lighter colors along. Eventually, the white bear was ideally suited for hunting in the arctic but there was no thought behind this. The bears did not get together and say “let’s breed our children so they develop white coats.” There is no thought behind it.
Ch. #53: I see...and this is not our problem?
Dawkins: Oh no, you should be so lucky. From the documents you sent it is clear that your problem is man-made. Were this a natural world scenario it seems to me that any number of the managers you deal with on a daily basis would never have survived childhood.
Ch. #53: Why not?
Dawkins: Because they would have been murdered for being such unrelenting twits by their peers. These are the type of people who never develop any social skills at all.
Ch.#53: But why do they end up in management.
Dawkins: Ah, I see your problem. You are expecting reason or rationality. If you want that, old boy, you need natural selection. What you are stuck with is the worst case of Unnatural Selection that I’ve ever seen.
Ch.#53: Unnatural selection?
Dawkins: Uh, yes. How are your employees hired?
Ch. #53: Those with the proper education or experience go through a tedious hiring process.
Dawkins: So, there are standards?
Ch. #53: Oh, yes.
Dawkins: And how are your managers selected?
Ch.#53: Um...basically they are selected by senior managers.
Dawkins: No standards?
Ch.#53: None above basic respiration that we can see.
Dawkins: I think we both see your problem. These people who do the selecting, what do you call them?
Ch.#53: We call them everything under the sun but their title is “Territory Manager.”
Dawkins: And do they have superior interpersonal skills?
Ch.#53: No, most of them are like cave dwellers. They have all the social graces of the guy who whips galley slaves.
Dawkins: Then why on earth would you expect them to do anything other than select people like themselves? They pick the worst of the worst because they look to see themselves.
Ch. #53: I see. So this is not evolutionary.
Dawkins: This system? Certainly not. Not even de-evolutionary. Frankly I’d be surprised if it was ever any better than what you describe. This is a human process devised by very fallible men.
Ch,#53: So, can’t even blame Intelligent Design for this?
Dawkins: I might buy “Unintelligent Design.”
Ch. #53: No way to reverse it?
Dawkins: None that I can see. Perhaps you can get them all in one place and hope for an asteroid strike?
The discussion below includes events which far pre-date the Obama Administration but it does not appear to us as if there will be any improvement. Far from giving any thought to these matters the Obama Administration seems determined to bring back the highly discredited concept of “partnership” to the federal workplace. This grasping at such an absurd panacea tells us that problems of the federal workforce are far down the President’s agenda. Partnership was a fiasco before when tried under Clinton but conditions have gotten much worse in the interim. Careful consideration of recent trends in IRS management has brought Chapter 53 to a startling conclusion. IRS managers seem to be evolving into wild beasts ruled by primitive instinct with no conception of rationality in their decision-making functions. When “Partnership” was first proposed we tended to have a more rational and reasonable management. As this seems to fly in the face of evolutionary theory we contacted the famed Evolutionary Biologist, British Professor, Richard Dawkins to see if he could offer an explanation: Below is the interview:
Ch. #53: Welcome, Professor, good of you to take the time to discuss this matter.
Dawkins: Any time I can be of assistance.
Ch. #53: We have been dealing with an apparently sudden change in our managers. Far from evolving into rational beings they seem to be regressing into a bunch of wild animals. Blindly lashing out at anyone who enters their territory, for instance. Snapping like hungry lions at their own subordinates. Doesn’t this seem like a reversal of evolution to you?
Dawkins: Well, I think you are over-simplifying evolutionary science. You must understand the concept of “natural selection” and it is here I think you are going wrong.
Ch. #53: Please explain.
Dawkins: “Natural Selection” merely gives an organism a better chance to survive and pass along its genes to the next generation. Polar bears for example, evolved about 200,000 years ago when brown bears were isolated by glaciers. The brown fur gave them no cover in the snow so bears with the darkest coats were at a disadvantage. Those bears whose coats were lighter had a corresponding advantage and they were the ones who survived and passed the lighter colors along. Eventually, the white bear was ideally suited for hunting in the arctic but there was no thought behind this. The bears did not get together and say “let’s breed our children so they develop white coats.” There is no thought behind it.
Ch. #53: I see...and this is not our problem?
Dawkins: Oh no, you should be so lucky. From the documents you sent it is clear that your problem is man-made. Were this a natural world scenario it seems to me that any number of the managers you deal with on a daily basis would never have survived childhood.
Ch. #53: Why not?
Dawkins: Because they would have been murdered for being such unrelenting twits by their peers. These are the type of people who never develop any social skills at all.
Ch.#53: But why do they end up in management.
Dawkins: Ah, I see your problem. You are expecting reason or rationality. If you want that, old boy, you need natural selection. What you are stuck with is the worst case of Unnatural Selection that I’ve ever seen.
Ch.#53: Unnatural selection?
Dawkins: Uh, yes. How are your employees hired?
Ch. #53: Those with the proper education or experience go through a tedious hiring process.
Dawkins: So, there are standards?
Ch. #53: Oh, yes.
Dawkins: And how are your managers selected?
Ch.#53: Um...basically they are selected by senior managers.
Dawkins: No standards?
Ch.#53: None above basic respiration that we can see.
Dawkins: I think we both see your problem. These people who do the selecting, what do you call them?
Ch.#53: We call them everything under the sun but their title is “Territory Manager.”
Dawkins: And do they have superior interpersonal skills?
Ch.#53: No, most of them are like cave dwellers. They have all the social graces of the guy who whips galley slaves.
Dawkins: Then why on earth would you expect them to do anything other than select people like themselves? They pick the worst of the worst because they look to see themselves.
Ch. #53: I see. So this is not evolutionary.
Dawkins: This system? Certainly not. Not even de-evolutionary. Frankly I’d be surprised if it was ever any better than what you describe. This is a human process devised by very fallible men.
Ch,#53: So, can’t even blame Intelligent Design for this?
Dawkins: I might buy “Unintelligent Design.”
Ch. #53: No way to reverse it?
Dawkins: None that I can see. Perhaps you can get them all in one place and hope for an asteroid strike?
