(September 2, 2014 at 6:20 pm)onebluethinker Wrote: I need some help. I'm having a moral crisis right now. Please hear me out, even though it's long.
I recently came out to my mother after almost a year of keeping the secret, hoping that they wouldn't hit me or disown me like they did in my nightmares. And then my mother laughed in my face. Well, figuratively.
She rambled for a few minutes about believing without proof, told me I was still young, that she didn't believe me, and that if someone told me to pray then I would have to. She told me that if I was serious in 5 years, maybe she would "think about it". Then, as my rage began building up, she smiled.
"Don't worry about it." she said.
Being shy, self-conscious me, I was crushed, but I had very low self-esteem and assumed my mother was correct. I watched the calendar for July 2nd, 2019 and went back to my life. But then I wondered if maybe I was right. And then I started to get mad.
I'm pretty sure she didn't even tell my dad. She must have assumed it was "just a phase."
I have never been more serious about anything in my life. Before I came out I was scared, I thought my life would change, I was going into depression and wishing I wasn't an atheist. By the time I built up the courage to come out I was really hopeful that I wouldn't have to hide anymore. Maybe I could even tell my two atheist friends, and we could talk about it. And then... well, my mom crushed my hopes.
What do I do? I really want to confront her but I'm scared the real her will come out and she'll yell at me, hate me, make all my friends and everyone I know hate me too.
I love her. She always told me she would always love me, but now my anxious brain is wondering if that's really true. I would love it if my whole family was atheist, but that can't happen. At least I want her to know I'm serious, even though I'm "only" in high school...
Please help me. I really hope that people on this forum are as nice, helpful, and understanding as they seem. I'm feeling really alone right now.
I'd say something like "It gets better" - but it doesn't sound that bad, actually. She isn't threatening to disown you or dragging you to church or staging an intervention.
I'm not a parent but I tried to imagine what it'd be like if my teenage son or daughter decided to become religious. I expect I'd be disappointed - after all, it is natural to want your children share your values and world-view. I might even try to argue it out of them or tell myself that its just a phase.
So, I don't think that your mother not immediately accepting your atheism is a severe blow. My suggestion is - stick with it. You've accepted her terms of seeing if you feel the same way for five years, now you should follow through. Make sure you understand the reasons for your atheism and make sure you can explain them when asked about it. The good thing about being an atheist here is that you are not really missing out on anything.
