(November 8, 2014 at 1:40 am)SteelCurtain Wrote:(November 8, 2014 at 1:29 am)whateverist Wrote: Interesting that the dedication to being open and honest can coexist with intimacy issues, isn't it. I suspect that will resolve itself for you, given how you are with people.
Part of that whole brute force thing. I really have to make a conscious effort to force myself not to be a closed book. Always boggled my mind, how I can be so extroverted and enjoy being the center of attention, but have this innate desire to be private and have a lot of alone time. Sort of a Jekyll and Hyde thing. I do hope I can overcome it, but I've been this way as long as I can remember and it doesn't seem to be getting better, even with therapy. But Jaysus having a woman in my life that knows me and gets me and has the patience of Job helps a lot.
l've always been shy and introverted but, like you, effort and establishment of habits has had its effects. At some point I had the epiphany that the real purpose of a relationship wasn't just to know another human being but to be known as well. That makes me want to be disclosive. I still value -no, require- a certain amount of solitude and the garden and walks with the dog gives me that. Fortunately my wife also gets totally immersed in her work and even goes off on business trips often enough. I think it's been good for us both. But we always spend time together every day, if only to play some cards over a meal.
