The Case for an Insurrection Against Jesus Christ

[Esquilax]

One of those really lurid mythological animal dildos from Bad Dragon.

"When he realized what terrible foe had snuck up on him from behind, it was already too late -his hitherto impenetrable defenses were gone, and he succumbed to Nox the Nightdrake. The last thing he heard was an indistinct whirring noise accompanied by a faint smell of sulfur and, oddly, vinyl and crisco. After that - eternal darkness."

"And lo, when he arose from his tomb, Jesus, who is the Christ, began to ascend to heaven. But then he stopped and remembered his sacrifice, and he did run to the bathroom, to scrub and scrub until he was clean. And much lube did runneth down the drain. Amen."