(December 21, 2014 at 1:03 pm)Nope Wrote: I used to be a Christian. My faith was important to me and something that I took for granted. In my forties, I began to have serious doubts and nothing that I could do would stop those doubts. Actually, at one point in my life I would get down on my face and beg god not to harden my heart. Questioning was traumatic for me and not something I asked to do. Every night I read my bible and my doubts grew.
The final straw came when my adolescent, learning disabled son got his girlfriend pregnant. We had given them birth control because we knew that they were sexually active even though my son-for whatever reason- told us that he wasn't having sex. So yeah, I was disappointed in him and it was that disappointment that clicked something in my head. Never would I want my son to suffer because he upset me. There is nothing that he could do that would make me turn against him. He could try to kill me or hate me and I would still love him and want what was best for him. The god that I worshiped wanted people to go to a place of eternal misery because they didn't love him enough. He was supposed to be a parental figure and yet, I, the faulty human was a far better parent then he was.
At that point, I stopped believing and it stopped hurting that I didn't have belief any longer. So when Drich starts that nonsense about just believing I take offense.
I relate so much to this. I remember when the thought hit me that I could develop a better god based on just my family. That was a big deconversion step.
