I work for a church and I can't stand it any more.

[Aoi Magi]

Fair point, however, it is not hatred, loathing, disownment etc. that I fear. I put myself in their shoes. In their view (which I disagree with but respect) people who do not believe in God are destined to hell, so, if I tell them I am no longer a Christian, some of my closest friends and family will now have to deal with the burden that I am going to hell. That simply is not something I would want to put on them, it would be selfish.

You do understand that your "close friends and family" are already carrying the burden of fear of heaven and hell in their hearts, not just for you but themselves too, right? You are letting them live their lives in an imaginary fear despite knowing the truth... isn't that selfish?
You are not only lying to yourself but to your loved ones, just so that you can be a part of the make-believe world and enjoy the community, isn't that selfish?

If my friends and family are drug addicts enjoying the temporary bliss and happiness, and I drag them to rehab, would that be selfish? Or is it more selfish if I provided the drugs myself just so that I can see their fake smiles?