I'm afraid of being agnostic, I need help

[robvalue]

Thank you for sharing your story.

To me, it comes down to one thing: indoctrination. Parents force the "truth" of religion into the minds of their children before the children have developed enough to properly tell the difference between fantasy and reality. And the children also don't have the critical thinking skills needed to properly evaluate it. As soon as critical thinking kicks in, the religion is usually embedded as just "true".

When the child does start to see cracks in it, the parents are swift to reinforce the delusion and to discourage asking questions.

This kind of mental programming is horrific, and could be used to get children to believe/ accept virtually any nonsense. It's the same tactic used by all religions, just some apply harsher punishment for questioning.

Most likely your parents (or at least one of them) were indoctrinated. So they are victims too. They, like so many others, are carrying round this fantasy as "true" because, unlike Santa claus, people around them didn't allow it to die off.

Keep to your logic, you've already seen through it. If something is true, it would stand up to logic. The fact that it's emotional reasons pulling you back such as fear show that it's entirely based on manipulation.

It's my firm opinion that once indoctrination stops, religion will lose its hold. For that reason, I would like to see it made illegal, including taking young children to church. I equate it to mind rape, violating a young mind that you are responsible for.

If parents are so convinced their religioun is true, then they should have no problem withholding it until their child is older and able to properly think for themselves. If parents can't teach their young children good values without resorting to fairy tales and threats, they shouldn't be parents.