Why Christians come to atheist forums

[psychoslice]

That's sad, how has it fallen apart if you don't mind me asking.

I died inside many years ago. All I do now is drag myself around like a zombie trying to fight off the urge to kill myself, and delaying the urge to give up and collapse in a heap. ME has drained all my energy, I feel like I'm a car trying to drive down a never ending road with just a tea spoon full of petrol.

I promised my wife I won't kill myself so while I'm still here I try and do what little good I can while trying to stop myself going insane. I don't enjoy things anymore like I used to, they are just ways to keep my darkness and despair at bay for a bit.

Glad you asked now huh Very kind of you to be interested. Amidst all this despair, and even longing for death through an incurable disease or an accident, never once do I turn to superstition.

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My mind is too fiercely logical and analytical for that, so much so it drives me mad at times.

I'll let you into a little secret, I have cut myself and let the blood flow, in just the last hour, it makes me feel better. I have been through a lot in my life, I was raped as a child, I was shot by someone along a highway just out of my town, I also had cancer, but I keep going on, because I enjoy life, fuck all the so called bad shit, its all part of life, just focus on the good stuff and fuck all the crap, that's the only way you will ever enjoy this life.