New Atheist, depressed, and wondering how to cope with reality.

[IanHulett]

Hey guys. I ended up deconverting from Christianity, and am now a Christian Atheist. So, now instead of seeing Jesus as the savior and son of God, I see him as a teacher of good morals and reject the existence of a God or Gods in the absence of evidence. But unlike a lot of people on YouTube, I will not claim to know that there is no God, I will only be in the position that I don't see evidence to back up the claim that he is real and so I cannot know for a fact that one exists, so I will reject the claim unless evidence is provided.

I've been fighting the deconversion process ever since I've started watching MrRepzion, TheAmazingAtheist, The Drunken Peasants, Thunderf00t, etc. The youtube atheist channels are the reason I ended up becoming an atheist. I fought hard to try and keep my faith, but in the end, I guess Science always wins no matter how hard you fight. This was the video that dealt the fatal blow:





My only problem, is now my dreams of wanting to become a Christian Singer Songwriter are shattered, I now believe that when my family passes, that's it. I'll never see them again, I'm too afraid to come out to my mother as an Atheist because none of my siblings ended up remaining Christian and I was her only success story, and I don't want to break her heart, and I worry my Christian girlfriend will be forced by her parents to break up with me, or she'll break up with me herself.

So, here I am, new atheist, depressed, trapped and now asking, how do you cope with all this? Thanks a bunch.

A Christian / Atheist it would seem , is an oxymoron isn't it ? I don't think you can believe Jesus was just a nice fella who walked some pristine beaches giving good teachings . He certainly claimed to be more than that. So, I think youd have to call him a big fat Liar wouldn't you ?

From the description of yourself, you sound more like an agnostic / skeptic than an atheist .

The thing is that Atheism is a lack of a belief in a God. Christian Atheists lack a belief in God, but they still believe Jesus was a teacher of morals, and teachers are just random people with no divine value. Probably, the reason they still stay believing in Jesus is because they don't realize Jesus is literally a lie.

At the time I wrote this, I didn't realize there was a lack of evidence for Jesus' existence. Then I saw a documentary called How Christianity was Invented. Then after seeing that Jesus was a sugar coated version of a warlord, and the story was warped for the benefit of Caesar

i.e Mark 12:17 And Jesus said to them, "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." And they were amazed at Him.

that literally screams "JUST PAY YOUR DAMN TAXES AND STOP CRYING LIKE A BABY!!! PRAY TO YOUR GOD AT HOME WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT YOU!"

Anyway, back on topic. So, I've decided that I wasn't going to be a Christian Atheist anymore because there's no evidence for the existence of Jesus. So, now, as listed in my religious beliefs, I'm a regular Atheist and also an Anti-Theist because I believe religion is harmful.

I prefer to leave the definition of Christian Atheism as my signature to spread awareness of Christian Atheism because an old friend is a Christian Atheist and I feel as though people should know that they're out there.