A simple challenge for atheists

[Rev. Rye]

Imagine an alternate universe which contains a single hydrogen atom. (Lets not include dark matter or other forces in the discussion for the purpose of simplicity.) You could replace the atom with a proton, a neutron, a sub-atomic particle, or a string. The point is, it's real. It can be measured.

Now where did this hydrogen atom come from?
Was it just always there?
Did it spontaneously appear, ie. magically?
Did someone create it?

How did it come into being?

Here's the answer: My dick created it. My dick is the uncaused cause. My dick exists outside of time. My dick is the only thing that can exist outside of causality. I know this is true because I say it is true.

Okay, in all seriousness, here's the thing: most people who spend their time pondering this question tend to be more willing to accept an honest ambiguity than a false concrete answer. And, really, is your rhetorical answer any different than my joke answer when you replace "my dick" with "God"? If so, why?