(January 24, 2015 at 6:36 pm)Nope Wrote:(January 24, 2015 at 2:41 pm)Kitty Galore Wrote: I always struggled with the fairy tales of Sunday school. I never believed these things actually happened. Even at my young age I suspected that children's stories are for children. I figured it was a way to make boring church more fun for kids with stories and coloring books.
In my 20's I looked around at being "spiritual". Mother earth and karma, this kind of belief. I was a faux hippy. I loved the style, but not the life style.
Karma was the hardest belief for me to let go of. I did truly believe that there was "something" that kept the balance of good and evil, outside of religion. "Things happen for a reason."
Someone did some very terrible things to me in my early 20's. This person murdered his wife, then killed himself, a couple of years later. This solidified karma for me.
I believed coincidence proved that there was something out there controlling it.
This changed for me about 5 years ago in my early 40's. I started analyzing things critically.
You seem like such an incredibly sweet person, Kitty. I am so sorry that happened to you.
Genesis never made sense to me but I didn't stop believing in a god until I hit my early forties. For several years before that, I really struggled with my faith and went through several denominations trying to find some way to retain belief. Once I finally let go, I wondered why I ever believed in the first place. Actually, I am sort of embarrassed that it took so long to stop believing. My daughter says that she never believed and I have no reason to doubt her.
My childhood was abusive so I wonder if my faith in god was somehow tied in with my trying for so long to please and love my mother. Once she died, I also was able to suddenly accept that there was no deity.
Bolded by me.
First of all, thank you for that. I'm thankful I came out of it retaining kindness.
Second, that is me all over...lol