RE: Parents forcing a christian convention on me - how to keep sane?
April 3, 2015 at 11:57 am
(This post was last modified: April 3, 2015 at 12:02 pm by YahwehIsTheWay.)
(April 3, 2015 at 11:32 am)coolfunkDJ Wrote: So when I say forcing I mean they think I want to go, I havent told them about my athiesm as I don't want to face the consequences
With that out of the way I am going to a christian convention on Monday! The time where I have to take a break from my exams Im getting preached about how fucking amazing JC is!
So how do I keep sane? What should I do to keep my ass out of a mental asylum!
Thank you![]()
It's very simple. If you can't beat them (or in this case, escape them) then JOIN THEM!!!!!
AND BE SURE TO PRACTICE YOUR ABUSE OF THE ALL CAPS BUTTON AND NEEDLESS EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
You learn to be a True Christian ™. You study the Wholly Babble and commit yourself to believing every word of it, including all the parts that make no sense and all the parts that contradict each other!
After all, if Jesus can be both 100% human and 100% divine, then he can also be born before 4 BCE (Matthew) and after 6 CE (Luke) all at the same time. It's a miracle! Praise the sweet name of Jay-zus.
And don't worry about those exams. Unsaved heathen trash (atheists) are always the ones who actually know what's in the Wholly Babble where Christians usually don't have a clue.
[out of character]
[/out of character]
Glory to Jebus.
Amen.
EDIT TO ADD: Just be sure not to get too enthusiastic. There are limits. I exchanged a few PMs with one Christian before he caught on "heeeeyyy, you're a fake Christian", to which I asked "what was your first clue?" No reply. Test the limits with care. Good luck.
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:
