Parents forcing a christian convention on me - how to keep sane?

[SteelCurtain]

Okay, so first of all, I relate to DJ's situation (and Norman's) as it is very similar to my own.

My parents are extremely fundy, to the point where they applaud willful ignorance. As a freshman/sophomore in high school, (DJ said he was 14 two months ago) I was an atheist by all but name. My parents forced me to go to church usually twice a week. I had to volunteer to run a camera for the megachurch that we went to. We prayed at every meal, we worshipped on special occasions (my parents are going to a Good Friday service tonight in Florida), we didn't participate in Halloween. I had to go to FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) after school when I was in Middle School.

I say all this to point out that "coming out" to my parents would have been a thing that although I would have been more true to myself, would have caused my life to be MUCH worse. I would have had to go to Christian Counseling sessions, I would have been forced to not hang out with my best friends, my freedoms would have been reigned in mightily. If I had to choose between letting my parents know the "real me" and being homeless, or even just my autonomy as a 16 year old who my parents trusted when I went to parties and work, then I would HAPPILY keep up the charade. Even today, I don't flaunt my atheism. You wouldn't know it about me unless you were my friend. I don't need to tell anyone about it, because even though I am passionate about the political/social issues, atheism is just my answer to one single question and isn't really that big a part of my life.

So the idea that DJ should tell his parents just to be his "true self" even though he has told everyone here many times about what he perceives his parents' reaction would be is ridiculous. This isn't like pretending to be straight. He has to go to church for a couple of years and maybe a retreat or two. I did it, and I waited until I was ready until I told my parents. I was away at college and financially independent. Turned out I didn't need to be, but nonetheless, I wasn't ready until that time. Now, if they asked him to do something unethical like try to convert a gay friend or not be friends with a gay person, then that is a different story.

DJ, just try to make the most of these sojourns into the religious lion's den. My first retreats were miserable only because I made them so. I had to go, so I just looked for opportunities to have fun. SO MANY KIDS your age hate it as much as you do. Just something simple like dropping an F-Bomb can be code for "I'm not buying it" and you'll win people over and shy away the conservitards. You're a teenager, teenagers are notoriously subversive. Sometimes they just need a little push.