The right to mis-define oneself

[bennyboy]

And I'm saying that the unpleasant feeling that might come about from reaching down between her legs and finding a surprise is much less visceral and thereby much less traumatic than having a penis forcibly inserted into an orifice of yours.

YMMV, and all that.

I'm not comparing rape and undisclosed boy parts on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm saying that there is likely to be trauma, and that the victim of the trauma is likely to feel demeaned and violated by a non-disclosure which is essentially an aggressive sexual act.