The right to mis-define oneself

[bennyboy]

I'm not sure who died and vacated the position of spokesman for all men, but I'm pretty sure you ain't the new nominee. I really don't care what you think is "obvious" based on your own personal feelings, because that is simply you projecting your own feelings onto other men.

Why do you keep fucking putting words in my mouth? Did I say I speak for all men? No. I believe MANY men would be traumatized by an unexpected last-minute reveal. Yes, I'm one of them. And I've heard many others say similar things.

Go out into the street and ask a couple hundred random men if they would be traumatized if in a sexual situation, their supposedly female date whipped out her penis. If you think the percent who would answer yes is non-zero, or trivially small, then I think you're deluded. But until that is actually done, then I'm perfectly aware that I could be wrong. Maybe the majority would say something like, "Traumatized? Nah. I'd just get the hell outta there." Based on how I've seen many men act, I believe the average reaction would be stronger than that.

It's cool, I've seen thousands like you online over the years. The only surprise to me is that I had you pegged wrongly; I had thought that as a reasonable person, you could admit error when it has been demonstrated. Instead, you assert lying on the part of your interlocutor.  It's all good ... but I know better about you, now.

I never really accused you of lying. I said I think you're lying, because it's so apparent to me that many men would find a late reveal traumatizing that I can't see how anyone would not believe that to be the case. But I also said I could be wrong, and that we should attempt research. If it turns out that the majority of men wouldn't be traumatized by a late reveal, then I would learn a lot of interesting things: 1) some people legitimately believe what you're saying, and you are not just claiming so for argument's sake; 2) my own ideas don't represent the norm; 3) a transwoman may not actually be committing a serious offense by not telling a potential partner about her penis before she gets into an encounter.

I'm open to that possibility. I just don't think it represents reality.

Once more, backpedalling without acknowledgement. You should own your mistakes.

I can fully and comfortably acknowledge that it's backpedalling. The sexual comments were in support of an idea-- and I care more about that idea than about debating exactly what constitutes rape, sexual assault, or just bad manners. I don't need late reveals to be rape, or even assault, to make my point: that defining one's self as something does not make one that thing.

I think most men faced with a last minute reveal would at the very least say, "If you're a woman, why do you have a penis?" You guys are making it out like this would be an unfair and prejudicial question: why ask, if a person with a penis is a woman just because that's how they identify?

I think most people, upon discovering that a woman, who is not adopted, has two parents so white they gleam in the sun, would ask, "In what sense can you be said to be 'colored' except for the fact that you apply tanning cream?" Why ask, if identifying as black is sufficient to BE black?