The right to mis-define oneself

[bennyboy]

Okay, so you and I have different perceptions of how the average male may feel.  You suggest that's because I'm projecting my own attitudes on the general population-- but I've seen enough men express similar opinions that I don't believe that to be the case.

I am going to ask you once more for numbers.  How many?

Take ANY idea you've picked up from your observations of people in life, and then tell me how many you've witnessed.  You should know that's a stupid request.  If you really want to know, then ask your male friends without any setup or preparatory explanation-- "If you took a beautiful woman home, and she revealed a penis to you, would you be traumatized?"  I think some of them will answer in the affirmative, but I've already said that I might be mistaken-- it could just be me.

I think it's likely that you are ALSO projecting your own values onto others, and that those have been validated by your own different experiences of other's men's behavior in certain situation.

Having managed an adult video store in SoCal which functioned as a meeting place for people at the small ends of the sexual bell curve, I'm comfortable with the knowledge that my opinion is informed by knowing many of the folks we're talking about here. I've yet to see any qualification of yours beyond a finely-honed sense of "eeeeww".

Because people in a sex shop are representative of the sexual mores of most men in America?  Sure.

And that's what you're not getting.  A woman who went home with me and had sex with me is providing me with a happy and validating experience, because I'm straight.  A transwoman who goes home with me and surprising me is acting aggressively in a situation which makes me vulnerable, which I think is a non-trivial violation of my personhood.  The trauma doesn't come from the wiener.  It comes from the fail to disclose

Calling that an aggressive act is silly. I've linked to the definition, for your edification.

If you don't think a woman with a penis revealing that only at the moment of coitus is an aggressive act, then you're wrong.  That (hypothetical) person would know she would likely not be received well, and so we must assume she would be doing it because she WANTED to incite a negative response from the prospective partner.  That's aggression.  And now you are being dishonest again.  You didn't link that for my "edification," you did it for your patronization.

Join the club.

I'm sorry to hear of it.

Yeah, you sound super-sorry, and you showed it by skipping exactly, and only, those parts of my previous post in which I demonstrated my direct experience with non-rape sexual aggression.

I don't need to compare it to rape.

Yet  you did, and when the bullshit comparison was pointed out, instead of discarding it as unnecessary, you dug your heels in.  The inability to admit error is bad enough; embracing unnecessary error is folly multiplied.

What the fuck?  I EXACTLY discarded it as unnecessary, and demonstrated its lack of necessity by providing at least two situations from my own life in which simple failure to disclose represented sexual aggression-- remember?  All those sentences you chose not to quote?  I also said I had decided to backpedal (how often do you see that in a "discussion" like this one?) and said that I didn't consider it central to my argument.  I made an attempt several times to turn the discussion back to the "transracial" person in the OP.  Now, I don't have to imply, or to say "I think" you're a liar in reference to my own experience.  I know you're a liar.

I think at this point it would be politic to abandon this thread as the fuckfest flamewar that it's obviously developing into.  I'm out.  Go ahead and take your last shots if you want, but I won't be reading them.