Hostage to fear

[Nope]

There is no hell. It doesn't make sense. The bible god is supposed to love everyone and yet, he sends people to an eternity of torment because they commit some finite crime. Religion decides what actions constitute a sin. So, a child murderer that asked forgiveness will be in heaven but two gay men might go to hell only because they had sex with one another. 

I don't know how to tell you to act with your wife. Does she know that you don't believe in god? Perhaps you could ease her into accepting your stance by telling her that you have doubts.  You could even say that you don't believe in hell. There are Christians who also don't believe in hell also so it might not freak her out too badly if you express disbelief. 

Jewish people don't believe in hell, at least not the Christian version of hell, so perhaps you could point out to her that Jesus would not have believed in the Christian  hell either

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cd...n-Hell.htm

I would read mythology with my son and explain that people invented gods, not because they were stupid, but because they didn't know how else to explain things like lightning and death. Later you can read the book of Genesis with him with the same critical eye. You can even point out the cruelty of god in  those stories

I read this book multiple times in the fourth and fifth grade. Maybe your son would enjoy you reading this to him?
http://www.audible.com/pd/Kids/DAulaires...1653732460