Hostage to fear

[Spacetime]

As a matter of fact, one (I am assuming) atheist proposed I simply change my concept of God to an impersonal one, which is more on par than rejecting a notion of God all together.

Anti-theist, more than anything else...actually(lol).  Think a few of us suggested something in that periphery though.  We're just hard hearted fuckers like that I guess?  

I see you've met Randy.......we're sorry.

lol!

... as for Randy ... I was once him, so I know he actually does mean well.  If he believes what he says and didn't copy/paste that from some apologist site... he's likely a good person, same as most people.

... But yea ... I definitely didn't need to have such a huge issue addressed with such small-minded non-sense.

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Hi, I can't address the fear of hell part of this because thought I was raised in a Christian household, hellfire was not denied so much as politely ignored, like grandmother's farts.  And I never actually believed.

This. And me too!

What I get absolutely is the fear of hurting Christian relatives by telling.  I also get that the church can be an important social place and that parts of it can and are good for some people.  But, perpetually lying is good for no one, you included.  It doesn't do good things for your sense of well being, integrity, or self respect and it won't do good things for your relationship with the people you are lying to whether it's your wife or your kids.  And pretending to believe what you do not is lying.

I told my wife today that if this is how a closeted gay person feels before coming out... my fervor for tolerance in society has increased infinitely.

I would be lying to you if I said it won't matter to your wife.  It will matter.  It certainly mattered to my parents when I told them and it still matters to my mother.  She alternates between willfully forgetting and attempting conversion and it's been a good 35 years now. . .  But she's still my Mom and we still love each other.  I suspect that if you tell your wife and you don't vilify Jesus in the process that the results may be similar.

Already had the conversation. She supports me! True-motha-f'ing-love ... for the win!

Thanks for your reply!!!!!!!

Finally figured out how to show the source code of posts. w00t.

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As a matter of fact, one (I am assuming) atheist proposed I simply change my concept of God to an impersonal one, which is more on par than rejecting a notion of God all together.

Anti-theist, more than anything else...actually(lol).  Think a few of us suggested something in that periphery though.  We're just hard hearted fuckers like that I guess?  Seems to be the overriding notion with the apologists in our midst at the moment?  

So, it wen't well with the wife.....that's good stuff man, real good stuff, conversation still ongoing with her?  We get alot of deconversion stories that go south at the whole "brought it up with the spouse/family" moment.  
You're fortunate.  

You might really like this subforum, btw......just pages and pages of stories similar to yours.

http://atheistforums.org/forum-12.html

hit the button...doo eeeet.

Evid3nc3's series on his deconversion was pretty epic.  I don't think I could come across genuine in a post.  Perhaps I'll do a video.

Having a heart felt account that expresses emotion, something I'm much better doing off the keyboard, is paramount to having a Christian understand and relate to my experiences.

I'm for it tho... recording what and how this all happened to me.