Atheist house rules?

[Pyrrho]

You guys live under fascist rules with heavily regimented lives.  Furthermore, when are you drinking?  Jesus fucking christ, if you are going to have any rules, you should have something like, IF you wake up and get up, then start the day with a screwdriver or some other worthwhile project.  Fuck, I never have it as a rule that I wake up.  What is wrong with you people?

I would totally buy your self-help book if you wrote one.

I would consider writing such a book, but it would interfere with my drinking.  A Pulitzer Prize just isn't enough of a reward for drinking less.  Indeed, I consider all Pulitzer Prize winners as failures at drinking enough.  Every famous person is a failed drunkard, who has wasted part of his or her life in becoming famous, when that time could have been usefully spent drinking.  It makes me sad and feel sorry for them, that they have wasted their lives by not drinking more.

The difficult decisions of my day involve whether I will be drinking beer, wine, Scotch, cognac, some other alcoholic beverage, or some combination of these.  Today it has been wine followed by cognac.  Don't go too cheap, or you will regret it!

But I will give you this bit of wisdom:  I have NEVER had a bad day that started with a screwdriver.  I recommend good quality orange juice and good vodka, to start the day properly.  If you need specific recommendations, if there is a Trader Joe's near you, I like their organic OJ (not the stuff with added calcium).  And I like Ketel One vodka (for screwdrivers; for drinking straight, there is a potato vodka I rather like).  Basically, you want an orange juice not from concentrate that tastes good on its own, and a vodka that has little taste, over ice.  It is quite refreshing and helps one have a good outlook on the day ahead.  The only other start of a day that can compare is having sex.  Then, of course, one can have a screwdriver, to make a good day even better.

Remember, a day without drinking is a wasted day.