I went to a very religuos private school between the ages of 7 to 12. The remainder of my schooldays were devoid of religion, my parents had no beliefs.
At 21 I became "born again" got married, and immersed myself 100% in fundie Baptist church life. Young Earth creationism, literal inerrant bible, the whole shebang. Got my father converted too and he's still in there.
A slow loss of faith, weariness of church life, emigration to the UK (from Zimbabwe) and no church. I felt I still believed all that stuff, but no longer had the ebergy or the will to live it.
Broader reading, and the internet brought atheist philosophy before me, and I started to realise just how crazy, illogical and desperate all the things I used to believe were.
A cold analysys of Christian theology brought me to realise just how manipulating and WRONG it all was.
YouTube videos of The Blasphemy Challenge was my inverse Damascus road experience. I saw a video of a young man saying "I deny the Holy Spirit, and I'm not afraid". That, for me, was liberating. All the guilt, all the fear fell away. I realised that I had been living in fear and thrall of phantoms, myths, fairies. The Word has no power, it's just a mixed up book, chosen by conference, and full of human error. Prayer is talking to thin air.
I am since fascinated with the notions of morality and society. Because it turns out, that without god, I'm still a good guy and a decent father, and I haven't raped or murdered or robbed anyone! I am also still exploring ways to fulfill my "spiritual" needs. (hate that word) And there is music, and literature and science.
And SCIENCE! The things I've learned about the world, the universe, humanity, it's magnificent.
Christians may accuse me of hating God, but truly, I know there is no such being. I am bitter about the wasted years and the lies I was told.
Other Christians may say I was a false convert, never a true Christian, but I felt and knew the forgiveness of God, I went through every emotion, and it was very real. And in my head.
At 21 I became "born again" got married, and immersed myself 100% in fundie Baptist church life. Young Earth creationism, literal inerrant bible, the whole shebang. Got my father converted too and he's still in there.
A slow loss of faith, weariness of church life, emigration to the UK (from Zimbabwe) and no church. I felt I still believed all that stuff, but no longer had the ebergy or the will to live it.
Broader reading, and the internet brought atheist philosophy before me, and I started to realise just how crazy, illogical and desperate all the things I used to believe were.
A cold analysys of Christian theology brought me to realise just how manipulating and WRONG it all was.
YouTube videos of The Blasphemy Challenge was my inverse Damascus road experience. I saw a video of a young man saying "I deny the Holy Spirit, and I'm not afraid". That, for me, was liberating. All the guilt, all the fear fell away. I realised that I had been living in fear and thrall of phantoms, myths, fairies. The Word has no power, it's just a mixed up book, chosen by conference, and full of human error. Prayer is talking to thin air.
I am since fascinated with the notions of morality and society. Because it turns out, that without god, I'm still a good guy and a decent father, and I haven't raped or murdered or robbed anyone! I am also still exploring ways to fulfill my "spiritual" needs. (hate that word) And there is music, and literature and science.
And SCIENCE! The things I've learned about the world, the universe, humanity, it's magnificent.
Christians may accuse me of hating God, but truly, I know there is no such being. I am bitter about the wasted years and the lies I was told.
Other Christians may say I was a false convert, never a true Christian, but I felt and knew the forgiveness of God, I went through every emotion, and it was very real. And in my head.
'How can you say, "We are wise, for we have the law of the LORD," when actually the lying pen of the scribes has handled it falsely? Jer 8:8
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx
