I haven't read through the thread, and I'm sure it's been stated before:
The thing is to weigh the harm done to kids by seeing an unfulfilling relationship between their parents and the harm potentially done by a divorce. In some cases the harm of a divorce is minimal if it means they get two (or even just one) healthier/happier parents out of it. Parents that are healthier and happier, are by definition, better parents, and ultimately that's better for kids. Kids pick up on and know when things aren't right. Hell, you're a social worker, you know that. The question is, is it a bad enough example for the kids, and are you unhappy enough to go through and have the kids go through with a divorce? I'm sorry you're in a position to have to weigh this. It sucks ((hugs)).
But, be honest with your kids. When my parents divorced, I asked my mom why they got divorced she said, "Well, Mommy and Daddy don't love each other anymore." I found this profoundly confusing. A: It was clear my dad was (and still is) totally in love with my mom (go figure, it's dysfunctional and weird, but true). B: I had never identified my mother as being in love with my father... So why the divorce now? Dad had been a raging, abusive alcoholic for decades, why leave now? I just didn't get it, still don't. Her lack of honesty made me mistrustful of her.
The thing is to weigh the harm done to kids by seeing an unfulfilling relationship between their parents and the harm potentially done by a divorce. In some cases the harm of a divorce is minimal if it means they get two (or even just one) healthier/happier parents out of it. Parents that are healthier and happier, are by definition, better parents, and ultimately that's better for kids. Kids pick up on and know when things aren't right. Hell, you're a social worker, you know that. The question is, is it a bad enough example for the kids, and are you unhappy enough to go through and have the kids go through with a divorce? I'm sorry you're in a position to have to weigh this. It sucks ((hugs)).
But, be honest with your kids. When my parents divorced, I asked my mom why they got divorced she said, "Well, Mommy and Daddy don't love each other anymore." I found this profoundly confusing. A: It was clear my dad was (and still is) totally in love with my mom (go figure, it's dysfunctional and weird, but true). B: I had never identified my mother as being in love with my father... So why the divorce now? Dad had been a raging, abusive alcoholic for decades, why leave now? I just didn't get it, still don't. Her lack of honesty made me mistrustful of her.
