Gender reveal parties weren't a thing when I had my kids and if they were, I certainly never heard of them. One baby shower is good enough, IMO. I wanted to know with my firstborn. With my second, I did not want to know. Sorry, but in this instance, I believe that the death of a loved one outweighs a gender reveal party, which could have been rescheduled so that family members didn't have to choose between mourning a loved one and finding out the sex of a child who was at least three or four months away from arrival.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.