I was raised in a very Catholic family (entire family involved in the church and my father taught Sunday school) and I was as devout as a preteen could be. I firmly believed in God and the churches teachings and found comfort in them during loss of loved ones and during other challenging times.
I first started doubting around 11 or so. In religion class we were studying the book of Job. It prompted a series of questions about the nature of God as this contradicted my previous lessons about god. I asked my teacher, our priest, and my father. They did their best but eventually my line of questions led to "God works in mysterious ways". The hard barrier left me feeling that maybe the church was wrong. I still believed in a higher power but didn't buy the church's explanation
blindly anymore.
In 8th grade we had a mythology class and it got me thinking these stories we call mythology are just as believable as the "truth" the church taught and was based on the same amount of evidence. So I started to wonder if in another 1000 years they would be teaching the Christian mythology to students. I began looking into the history of Christianity by sources outside of the church and found how the church would adopt or abandon key principals or rituals to expand its membership. That was when I became convinced religion is just a tool used to manipulate people created by people. They may have had benign or malignant intentions or it may start as one and evolve into the other, but at its core is about control.
Around the same time I was discovering a passion for history and the sciences. Through those I began to find theories in human development, source of life, and the nature of the universe. All of which based off of evidence that can be observed and repeated. Yes there are gaps and as I learn new information my hypothesis will change but those gaps are not hard stops. Just an opportunity to further explore. Everything makes more sense to me now and I'm filled with more awe for the world around me and a greater sense of contentment.
I first started doubting around 11 or so. In religion class we were studying the book of Job. It prompted a series of questions about the nature of God as this contradicted my previous lessons about god. I asked my teacher, our priest, and my father. They did their best but eventually my line of questions led to "God works in mysterious ways". The hard barrier left me feeling that maybe the church was wrong. I still believed in a higher power but didn't buy the church's explanation
blindly anymore.
In 8th grade we had a mythology class and it got me thinking these stories we call mythology are just as believable as the "truth" the church taught and was based on the same amount of evidence. So I started to wonder if in another 1000 years they would be teaching the Christian mythology to students. I began looking into the history of Christianity by sources outside of the church and found how the church would adopt or abandon key principals or rituals to expand its membership. That was when I became convinced religion is just a tool used to manipulate people created by people. They may have had benign or malignant intentions or it may start as one and evolve into the other, but at its core is about control.
Around the same time I was discovering a passion for history and the sciences. Through those I began to find theories in human development, source of life, and the nature of the universe. All of which based off of evidence that can be observed and repeated. Yes there are gaps and as I learn new information my hypothesis will change but those gaps are not hard stops. Just an opportunity to further explore. Everything makes more sense to me now and I'm filled with more awe for the world around me and a greater sense of contentment.
