If you were ever a theist...

[*Deidre*]

What do you feel caused you to change your stance on that, though? Do you feel that because you were raised in faith, it was more pressed upon you to see things as your dad did, etc? Just wondering.

Well As I've posted before here, it was mostly the melting of the cognitive dissidence that I hadn't before noticed that the people that claimed the most personal, active relationships with god were the worst people that I knew. I couldn't explain why my morality was better than the stories preached from the pulpit or observed in the homes of other pastors. I also observed that some of the best moral people I knew were victims of church wrath and were not "christians."  Reading to understand the bible made me an affirmed atheist. Growing up very well educated in science, and other disciplines made me much less gullible to quackery but never hardened my heart against truth if it is truth.

Appreciate you sharing this, thank you. After I deconverted, I remember having some anger over following faith for so long 'blindly,' as I called it. It didn't seem like all of my life, I had much of say in my faith, since I was raised in it. My dad is a devout Catholic still to this day, and part of why you remain, is as to not disappoint people in your life, which is never a good reason. So, in anger, I'd argue with theists, and one day I realized that if someone is happy in their faith, if on some level it brings them a sense of joy, even if I didn't believe in the origin of that joy, who was I to talk them out of it? If someone is harming others with their beliefs, that's a different story. I have a dear friend (who is an atheist) who is in my offline life, and he tells me he thinks I'm harming myself by believing in something that has no evidence, because it will cause me to be gullible in other areas. 'Your brain is going to become numb to logic.' But, to me, I'm still the same person ...as an atheist, or as a theist. The difference is that I have a deeper sense of peace than I did as an atheist. I admit that while I have always had a good life, I wasn't entirely at peace when I was an atheist. Not because I look to God to be a comforter but I felt like my sense of wonder was diminishing, Idk how to best articulate that. You know? 

There are people I have known who have left faith, and poof...they are completely done with it forever. Never look back. I'll also share with you too that logically, I never struggled being an atheist, it was on an emotional/interpersonal level that I did. Anyway, fwiw...just sharing that with you.