If you were ever a theist...

[drfuzzy]

Sorry for late reply. It was simply the fear of Hellfire that kept me clinging onto faith and trying to square the circle of faith and the Bible that kept me for 4 years adamant in accepting the truth; that the Bible was a man-made book and some desert goat-herders had made a deity in their image.
I mostly didn't want to disappoint my parents, I guess. From their POV, they are trying to save my immortal soul so it's understandable that they would try their darndest to try to "save" me, from my POV they're virtual prisoners of their own beliefs.

I'm exactly where you are.  My father is a pastor.  Yes, I grew up having to answer "What's it like being a PK?" over and over again.  I hated being defined by that label.  None the less, my parents were/are good people who just tried to do what is best for me.  I have brought questions and concerns to their attention, but so far not the conclusion I've reached, that it's all BS.

Two questions:

1. I'm assuming your parents know now... how did they take it?
2. How long before every trace fear of damnation left you?  That's still something that pops in my mind a lot.  "What if I'm wrong?"

Isn't it amazing how the fear of hell grips us - particularly those of us who were indoctrinated as children.  
Here's my answer: IF god exists, and has any sense of fairness at all, and knows my history (and those are some huge "ifs", aren't they?) then god will understand the reasons that I have rejected the beliefs that I was taught as a child.  Any entity that would punish me for eternity for doubting, because there is literally no evidence that those old beliefs are true, is not worthy of worship.  The entire concept of hell is utterly flawed - it was only created to scare people into mindless obedience.  Xtians have asked me "what if you're wrong" so many times, and they sometimes follow it with a statement like "just believe anyway, just go to church anyway, just in case".   Just in case??
If these is a god with 1/100th of the abilities they ascribe to him, then he will know when somebody is just going through the motions, "just in case".  No, hell doesn't make sense on so many levels - I reject it.  And if there is a god who would actually imprison my soul, whatever that is, in such a place, then he is a monster.  I'm taking my chances.  
     And when you simply can't make yourself believe that god or satan or heaven or hell actually exists, it's the only option, really.