Why Didn't Jesus Write?

[Tonus]

On the other hand, if he was just another rabble-rouser who pissed off a local Roman prefect and was executed for his troubles

Except that is not what dripshit's precious gospels say.  In fact, Pilate's reaction seems best described by the phrase "who is this fucking guy?"

I think I mentioned it before, but you get the impression that the gospel writers were keen on making nice with the Roman authorities. As unimpressed as Pilate is, he nonetheless stresses that he can't find anything that Jesus has done wrong, forcing the Jewish leaders to practically beg that the blame for his death fall on them. He washes his hands --literally!-- of the whole affair and the crowd eagerly accepts this. When Jesus dies it is the Roman soldiers who recognize that "he was the son of God." One of Peter's keys to the kingdom of heaven is used to convert Cornelius, a Roman centurion whose prayer was answered directly by an angel of God. You wonder if there wasn't at least some hope that their new religion would be more palatable to Rome, especially if they were written during (or just after) a time of Jewish revolt.