RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:02 am
(This post was last modified: January 17, 2018 at 4:14 am by The Grand Nudger.)
Another fun anecdote about a girl that finds herself suddenly uncomfortable and totally ruins the evening for my best man-
I met a girl in germany with an abnormally large clitoris. Stop snickering..it wasn't a penis..not that that hasn't happened to me too. It was so big that it just fixated the shit out of me. It was so big that she'd warned me..in advance..of it's existence. In case I spooked like a horse when she took off her pants..I guess? So I'm going down on her and she gets uncomfortable. Well, that's that. I'm not even going to stick around to sleep. Plus, this girl had heard I was from florida so she gave me what passed for OJ to germans and I'd involuntarily spit it out in her face. Two strikes..not sticking around for the third.
Small problem..no idea where I was. No id either...and no money. So here I am, lost, wandering around a foreign country in the dead of winter. Sun comes up and I'm still lost. Three hours late to formation....and straight up nobody there would buy an ounce of my story about getting lost after a girl with a giant clit which definitely wasn't a penis got so uncomfortable with her own clit I had to pull the ripcord. They did believe the bit about the juice though.......apparently that's a thing, they water it down.
So..there are two stories of indiscretion and awkwardness, of poor decisionmaking on the part of multiple parties...and still...I havent approached the ansari threshold where I'm feeding quarters to the slot and trying to extract a plushie.
(now..she actually did end up thinking it was her clit that made me leave, it was this whole thing with her...but the real irony is that she introduced me to one of her best buds as a sot of consolation prize for it not working out, ended up being a good thing for a few weeks, and his clitoris was fuckin yooge.
)
I met a girl in germany with an abnormally large clitoris. Stop snickering..it wasn't a penis..not that that hasn't happened to me too. It was so big that it just fixated the shit out of me. It was so big that she'd warned me..in advance..of it's existence. In case I spooked like a horse when she took off her pants..I guess? So I'm going down on her and she gets uncomfortable. Well, that's that. I'm not even going to stick around to sleep. Plus, this girl had heard I was from florida so she gave me what passed for OJ to germans and I'd involuntarily spit it out in her face. Two strikes..not sticking around for the third.
Small problem..no idea where I was. No id either...and no money. So here I am, lost, wandering around a foreign country in the dead of winter. Sun comes up and I'm still lost. Three hours late to formation....and straight up nobody there would buy an ounce of my story about getting lost after a girl with a giant clit which definitely wasn't a penis got so uncomfortable with her own clit I had to pull the ripcord. They did believe the bit about the juice though.......apparently that's a thing, they water it down.
So..there are two stories of indiscretion and awkwardness, of poor decisionmaking on the part of multiple parties...and still...I havent approached the ansari threshold where I'm feeding quarters to the slot and trying to extract a plushie.
(now..she actually did end up thinking it was her clit that made me leave, it was this whole thing with her...but the real irony is that she introduced me to one of her best buds as a sot of consolation prize for it not working out, ended up being a good thing for a few weeks, and his clitoris was fuckin yooge.
)
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