Are people normally this confussing when you are asking them out?

[CapnAwesome]

Two times isn't crazy to ask a girl out. I'd say give it one more go and then let it be. She might just be telling the truth about needing to be settled after a long time overseas. I don't automatically see that as a rejection, although it could be.

Maybe be clear about what you want to do, i.e. "do you want to go to this show with me, I know you said you didn't want to date, but just see if you have fun, no pressure. "

I feel like I should be atheist forums dating coach sometimrs.

You must have better social skills than most of us.

Yep. Also better abs.