Anxiety/Depression/Mental Illness Support

[Angrboda]

zentor:

Meh. It's just your brain telling you bad shit. Not much you can do about it if medication doesn't help. You're simply going to have these thoughts, and it's going to hurt, until the weather in your brain changes. Not much you can do concretely. I understand you've suffered a long time. Over time of coping, even if you can't take hold of the storms and calm them, you will learn to see them for what they are, and that perspective can help. Over time you will learn to monitor your mind for abnormal thinking, to catch the mental undertow that is making all your thought go bad, unlike normal thinking, and when that happens you can switch modes, be less speculative, engage in activities that will tide you over until your brain rights itself (I used to work on computers during these times, as it was something I could do without thinking; and I used to avoid taking books out from the library, as doing so while depressed is a sure ticket to massive late fees — I've incurred over $100 in fines this month; and this probably doesn't apply, but I keep disposable plates and utensils, so the dishes don't pile; gear yourself for getting through it, and let go of trying to always be functional). Those skills will develop over time. Despite your mention of having been treated for 7 years, I get the impression you are still in the beginning stages of learning the coping skills; if so, that's a good thing, as things will improve along with your skills.

This is probably slim comfort for you, but as people get older, into their 30s and 40s, things tend to smooth out and become more predictable. With affective disorders, there tend to be two critical periods when people develop symptoms. The first is adolescence, the second in the mid to late 20s. It sounds like you got hit in the early period. I can't imagine what it must be like for you, but being young and coping with mental aberrations is bound to stretch anybody's capacity for coping. Give yourself some credit. You've made it this far. That's a good sign.

I don't know that I have anything more to add. I was struck with illness very early in life, and didn't have any real affective disorder issues until I was 16 or 17 with my first episode of major depression. At the time, because of how greatly impaired my thinking was, I presumed that I'd given myself brain damage from too much weed and booze. It's funny in hindsight, but it was very scary at the time. Anyway, I'm rambling. The one constant in my life that has always been there for me is music; I swear I'd be dead already if not for music. I hope you have something that gives you strength as well.

[zentor]

Thanks guys and ya apophonia u sounded like me brain
Idk though I been hospitalized so many times and seen 40+ people in hospitals and I just know I'm gonna be like that whn I'm older I try everything to be normal and i can't
starting to get fat again cuz when I depressed I eat then go 2 weeks eating clean and again get depressed and over eat
No matter what I ty in life I cnlant be successful
And now nothing I life makes me happy and life is boring and Bullshit iI just wwant to die

[Shell B]

Fuck it if you get fat. Some people are chubby chasers and fat means not watching what you eat. You gotta let the shit you can't help slide, dude. The thing is going with the flow when you know you can't do fuck all about it and doing your best when you know there is something you can do. Sounds to me like you need to get the hell up off your ass and get a hobby. It sounds harsh, but hell if having something you really want to do helps, do it. That's what I do. My therapy is currently rowing. It was walking last month. Get in a groove and get out of the rut, pal. If you're going to blame everyone else and talk about how they don't help, you'll have to take a look at yourself and see if you're helping.

[zentor]

Ya my hobby is Swtor starwaes old republic
It gives me something to look to but its so stressful and I get obssessed and play foe like 14 hours and go more.crazy

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Otherwise I have no.other.interest and not liking Amy other games

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Its a mmo so requires lots of time to progress and I spend a whole da and finish just one planet and they constantly ad stuff so.its really stress ful

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And fat.chics are hot but. Guys look bad when we are fat lol

[Shell B]

I was married to a fat guy. Granted, he was muscly fat, but he was fat, nonetheless.

Anyway, I don't mean games that piss you off. I mean something productive, like getting off your ass. Seriously, zentor, try talking about something in here that doesn't involve being depressed and you might find it takes your mind off it. There is absolutely no more help you can get here, so you might as well take a fucking load off when you stop by.

[Napoléon]

Seriously, zentor, try talking about something in here that doesn't involve being depressed and you might find it takes your mind off it.

THIS THIS THIS THIS!

[zentor]

my pdoc suspected I have aspergers and I wonder.too. cuz I feel I really don't belong or connect with anyone and it's frustrating.
Went to the wrong planet forum
But they don't understand me and I don't understand them
sometimes suicide is the beat option, like if u get paralyzer, blind etc
sure many handicapped people are successful, but if one is unhappy he shouldn't be forced to live
I hear Holland legalized mercy killings for mental illness, sounds good to me.

[Cinjin]

my pdoc suspected I have aspergers and I wonder.too. cuz I feel I really don't belong or connect with anyone and it's frustrating.
Went to the wrong planet forum
But they don't understand me and I don't understand them
sometimes suicide is the beat option, like if u get paralyzer, blind etc
sure many handicapped people are successful, but if one is unhappy he shouldn't be forced to live
I hear Holland legalized mercy killings for mental illness, sounds good to me.

jesustapdancingchrist. Reading your posts makes me wish someone would "mercy kill" ME.

Let it go and try discussing something light and frivolous for a fucking change. Nobody wants to be around someone who's always sobbing about their fucking problems.

I know several people who have very real (extremely serious) mental problems and they still don't go around whining about it every fucking minute.



Ignore the dark ... taste the rainbow!!



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[Reforged]

Oh wow, I'm like a silver bullet thats been handcrafted for this one.
Its not often I say this, I like to keep it private but I have low-level aspergers.
You couldn't tell and I hope I shouldn't have to say this but I am *not* like this guy.
I mean seriously, we all have bad shit happen to us.
I've got all kinds of horror stories I could unleash upon you and I could lay down and die but I don't because I've got two massive testicles to keep me propped upright.
Pull yourself up and don't be such a fucking weakling. There are some people with your condition that spend their days drooling into cups and looking up lazy town because they're not sentient enough to do anything else and I know because I've met them. They're the majority of the people with our condition.
Imagine my surprise, I go into a room expecting people like me. Intelligent, insightful, friendly, people I could relate to. They weren't, they were what everyone here would consider to be the definition of "retarded" because they were higher on the spectrum. The fact is what I've got isn't a curse, its a gift. The variation I have gives me minimal negatives and more than a few major positives denied to most people who don't have it. As much as it pains me to admit it; its more than likely I owe my high intellect to it. Its statistically improbable we're on exactly the same part of the spectrum and even if we were it effects different people in radically different ways but the fact you can even type sentences that don't involve a single-minded interest that you won't shut up about would lead me to believe you're one of the lucky few who have aspergers but aren't high up on it.
Grow a pair and stop crying like a bitch over what little negatives you have, no pun intended.

[KnockEmOuttt]

There's a history of mental illness in my family (my father's side is riddled with it). Both luckily and unluckily for me, I think my sister inherited that bit.

I think at one point they tried to diagnose me with everything in the book. I didn't have many friends when I was younger, and so the school recommended I be sent to shrink after shrink until they figured out what was wrong. Turned out I lived in a small, conservative town and I didn't like sports. Problem solved...kind of.

When I was 13 and going through the coming out process I developed some pretty severe depression. Almost killed myself actually, ended up in the ER and ultimately rehab (I said no no no, but they sent me anyway). I still have my ups and downs with depression, but it's usually incident related (most recently I lost a very close grandmother in March and had to go on mood stabilizers for about a month.) I monitor myself very closely though, I take everything related to my psyche very seriously.