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Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 8:51 am
(This post was last modified: June 10, 2012 at 8:53 am by Manowar.)
Last week a snake handling Pastor died a few hours after he was bitten.
Years earlier the Pastor's Father also died of a snake bite. Am I a bad person because i think this is funny?
http://news.yahoo.com/serpent-handling-w...ories.html
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RE: Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 9:23 am
(June 10, 2012 at 8:51 am)Manowar Wrote: Last week a snake handling Pastor died a few hours after he was bitten.
Years earlier the Pastor's Father also died of a snake bite. Am I a bad person because i think this is funny?
http://news.yahoo.com/serpent-handling-w...ories.html
Hasn't this topic been done to death already?
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RE: Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 9:44 am
(This post was last modified: June 10, 2012 at 9:51 am by The Grand Nudger.)
Had he lived god would have been invoked. Seeing as he didn't god was not.
Let me explain how this works (I have Holy Rollers in my family btw, and this "fringe" cult isn't as fringey as some people think..at least not here in Kentucky)
If you have the proper level of true faith™ the serpents will not hurt you. God is with you.
If the serpents hurt you you didn't actually have the required level of true faith™. God is not with you.
The snakes and strychnine are tools for confirmation of the presence of the divine.
(both are equally real, it's not a con game at all btw, as some people might imagine)
A little intro for those of us who think this is batshit crazy..including believers of any other christian cult
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 11:08 am
I posted this on facebook last week. It is the lulz, and it's actually kind of inspirational. Being a moron actually is fatal. hoooraaay
"In our youth, we lacked the maturity, the decency to create gods better than ourselves so that we might have something to aspire to. Instead we are left with a host of deities who were violent, narcissistic, vengeful bullies who reflected our own values. Our gods could have been anything we could imagine, and all we were capable of manifesting were gods who shared the worst of our natures."-Me
"Atheism leaves a man to sense, to philosophy, to natural piety, to laws, to reputation; all of which may be guides to an outward moral virtue, even if religion vanished; but religious superstition dismounts all these and erects an absolute monarchy in the minds of men." – Francis Bacon
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RE: Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 11:12 am
Consider though that their big brains were required to form such an elaborate set of beliefs in the first place, that this survival strategy which seems to be so successful can also be completely lethal in the right situation..hehehehe..
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Another Darwin Award winner!
Science flies us to the moon and stars. Religion flies us into buildings.
God allowed 200,000 people to die in an earthquake. So what makes you think he cares about YOUR problems?
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RE: Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 12:38 pm
(June 10, 2012 at 8:51 am)Manowar Wrote: Last week a snake handling Pastor died a few hours after he was bitten.
Years earlier the Pastor's Father also died of a snake bite. Am I a bad person because i think this is funny?
http://news.yahoo.com/serpent-handling-w...ories.html
Of course not.
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RE: Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm
He was buried next to his father. I found a picture of their gravestones.
![[Image: im-with-stupid.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=www.freefunnyshit.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F04%2Fim-with-stupid.jpg)
fucking morons
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RE: Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 1:26 pm
This is a small timber rattlesnake. I almost stepped on it Got my phone camera to record it and it attacked. it missed so i guess God was with me or maybe my reflexes were faster, either way i am not so stupid as to sit down next to one like this Pastor.
PS the title was "pissed of copperhead" but i found out later it is a juvenile Timber rattlesnake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EABzs2LxH8E
Maybe it's me but I really can't believe how stupid Christians can be.
Manowar
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RE: Snake handling Pastor dies
June 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm
At the end of the article, the real level of stupidity really shines through....
Article Wrote:"Anybody can do it that believes it," Wolford said. "Jesus said, 'These signs shall follow them which believe.' This is a sign to show people that God has the power."
What power? You're dead and so is your idiot father! Your god couldn't even keep you from dying from snake venom. Fucking pathetic.
Article Wrote:Wolford watched his own father die at the age of 39 after a rattlesnake bit him during a similar service.
How stupid can you possibly be after you KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT that your faith doesn't work and yet still put your body in harms way?!
Article Wrote:"He lived 101/2 hours," Wolford told the Washington Post Magazine. "When he got bit, he said he wanted to die in the church. Three hours after he was bitten, his kidneys shut down. After a while, your heart stops. I hated to see him go, but he died for what he believed in.
At this point, the stupid is off the scale. "Anybody can do it that believes it," has now turned into, "dying for what you believe in." Which one is it asshole?! Does your god protect the believer from the snake or is it just a sacrifice to your god to let a poisonous viper bite you?! God damn fucktards!
Article Wrote:"I know it's real; it is the power of God," Wolford told the Washington Post Magazine last year. "If I didn't do it, if I'd never gotten back involved, it'd be the same as denying the power and saying it was not real."
... and now you're dead you fucking idiot. Even after your own father died believing this stupid shit, you were too stupid to put it all together. He believed - he's dead. You believe - you're dead. My only hope is that your son is not as stupid as the two of you. I wonder what the odds of that are. fucktards.
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![[Image: Evolution.png]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i1118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk619%2Fjcincain%2FPublic%2FEvolution.png)
