Worst Bible Translations

[Doubting_Thomas]

Asking for the worst is like asking which turd smells worst.

The book of Mormon

[Drich]

What do you think are the worst bible translations ever? I don't mean a little biased or inaccurate, I mean hilariously, jaw-dropingly bad.

I'm going to have to go with the Orthodox Jewish bible translation. It literally makes no sense. It's hilarious. I can't get through a chapter without cracking up. Jesus is called Rebbe Melech HaMoshiach Yehoshua. How does the author make any money? Maybe people just buy it for the entertainment value.

http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Ort...OJB/#books

Why do you consider this translation bad? Is it because it is different from what you grew up with? Is it because it is a reminder that God/Christ is not anglo, and did not speak the kings english?

The bible was written by jews, for jewish converts. So to see everything spelled out in a pure literal hebrew to english translation probably more closly resembles the orginal text than anything you are use to seeing.

This bible serves a purpose and the reminant of God's people, if it is not for you then simply move on to something more to your taste like the easy to read version.

[Tea Earl Grey Hot]

Oh, you haven't seen crazy until you read Gail Riplinger. She's one of the leaders of the "King James Only" movement. A fundamentalist movement that believes that the King James bible written in 1611 is an "inspired translation" is completely accurate and perfect. All translations since 1611 have been the work of demon possessed satanists trying to corrupt God's word (this is what they literally believe, I'm not making this up). The KJV only movement is quite large. I have a few of Riplinger's books. Here's some chapter titles from one of her books (it's over 1000 pages of pure crazy, seriously 1203 pages!!!) that are worth a laugh:

"Metzger's Lexical Aids and Greek Text Are Deadly: Nuggets from the Greek or Fools Gold?"

"Logos Bible Software's Liddell-Scott Greek-English Lexicon" Did Henry Liddel protect 'Jack the Ripper' suspect, Alice in Wonderland's Lewis Carroll (a.k.a. Charles Dodgson)?" [emphasis mine]

""Marvin Vincent, Marred and Sin-Bent" His Word Studies in the New Testament denies the existence of the Devil."

"Child Molester on New Version Committee"

"'The Occult & Catholic Origin of Greek & Hebrew Focus' exposes Reuchlin, the founder of Greek and Hebrew study, and his use of the wicked Kabbala. This could have been chapter one!"

"Seven Proofs of the King James Bible's Inspiration"

Here's a page that debunks her: http://www.kjvonly.org/james/may_reviews.htm

[downbeatplumb]

It depends what you mean by "worst"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicked_Bible

The wicked bible had the commandment: thou shalt commit adultary.

[Minimalist]

Oh, you haven't seen crazy until you read Gail Riplinger. She's one of the leaders of the "King James Only" movement. A fundamentalist movement that believes that the King James bible written in 1611 is an "inspired translation" is completely accurate and perfect. All translations since 1611 have been the work of demon possessed satanists trying to corrupt God's word (this is what they literally believe, I'm not making this up).

I wonder if she knows that James was a homo?

http://etb-history-theology.blogspot.com...s-gay.html

[Marnie]

[quote='Drich' pid='350743' dateline='1350568380']
[quote='Marnie' pid='349747' dateline='1350363709']
What do you think are the worst bible translations ever? I don't mean a little biased or inaccurate, I mean hilariously, jaw-dropingly bad.

I'm going to have to go with the Orthodox Jewish bible translation. It literally makes no sense. It's hilarious. I can't get through a chapter without cracking up. Jesus is called Rebbe Melech HaMoshiach Yehoshua. How does the author make any money? Maybe people just buy it for the entertainment value.

http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Ort...OJB/#books
[quote]
Why do you consider this translation bad? Is it because it is different from what you grew up with? Is it because it is a reminder that God/Christ is not anglo, and did not speak the kings english?

The bible was written by jews, for jewish converts. So to see everything spelled out in a pure literal hebrew to english translation probably more closly resembles the orginal text than anything you are use to seeing.

This bible serves a purpose and the reminant of God's people, if it is not for you then simply move on to something more to your taste like the easy to read version.
[/quote]

Wow, you didn't even look at the link did you? If you did you would know it's a "Messianic Jewish" English paraphrase meant to make evangelical Christianity appeal to Jews by using excessive Hebrew and Yiddish terms, often incorrectly. Did Jesus speak Yiddish or did the ancient Isrealites? Lol, no. It's not a Hebrew transliteration or translation. It's English with a barrage of "Jewey" sounding words thrown in. It was made by a go ..... I mean guy, named Philip Goble.

I guess I consider this a bad translation because of the excessive Yiddish and Hebrew in a vain attempt to make fundamentalist Christianity Jewish. Or maybe it's the awkward paraphrasing and syntax in order to "Jew it up a bit more." Or the lack of footnotes, just sticking the note directly in a verse. MAYBE IT"S THE ENTIRE SENTENCES RANDOMLY CAPITALIZED FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

[Minimalist]

You rang?

[Drich]

[quote='Drich' pid='350743' dateline='1350568380']
[quote='Marnie' pid='349747' dateline='1350363709']
What do you think are the worst bible translations ever? I don't mean a little biased or inaccurate, I mean hilariously, jaw-dropingly bad.

I'm going to have to go with the Orthodox Jewish bible translation. It literally makes no sense. It's hilarious. I can't get through a chapter without cracking up. Jesus is called Rebbe Melech HaMoshiach Yehoshua. How does the author make any money? Maybe people just buy it for the entertainment value.

http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Ort...OJB/#books

Why do you consider this translation bad? Is it because it is different from what you grew up with? Is it because it is a reminder that God/Christ is not anglo, and did not speak the kings english?

The bible was written by jews, for jewish converts. So to see everything spelled out in a pure literal hebrew to english translation probably more closly resembles the orginal text than anything you are use to seeing.

This bible serves a purpose and the reminant of God's people, if it is not for you then simply move on to something more to your taste like the easy to read version.

Wow, you didn't even look at the link did you? If you did you would know it's a "Messianic Jewish" English paraphrase meant to make evangelical Christianity appeal to Jews by using excessive Hebrew and Yiddish terms, often incorrectly. Did Jesus speak Yiddish or did the ancient Isrealites? Lol, no. It's not a Hebrew transliteration or translation. It's English with a barrage of "Jewey" sounding words thrown in. It was made by a go ..... I mean guy, named Philip Goble.

I guess I consider this a bad translation because of the excessive Yiddish and Hebrew in a vain attempt to make fundamentalist Christianity Jewish. Or maybe it's the awkward paraphrasing and syntax in order to "Jew it up a bit more." Or the lack of footnotes, just sticking the note directly in a verse. MAYBE IT"S THE ENTIRE SENTENCES RANDOMLY CAPITALIZED FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

What is the purpose of a given translation other than to speak to a segment of the population that say another could not reach? Otherwise why do we have so many other versions of the same bible? Why do we need a King James or a New King James or an NIV and A Easy to Read? They are all english versions are they not? So what is the difference between the KJV and the ETRV? Isn't the ETRV just a dumed down version of the KJV or NKJV? Isn't it an attempt to reach the segment of the population not familiar with the poetry of the kings english? Why is main stream common english speakers allowed to have a simple english version tailored to the terms and dialect they are comfortable with, and the those who come from a devoute Jewish back ground riticuled for seeking out a bible translated for them in the same spirit?

Are you anti semitic? or are you just an all around God hatting biggot?

[Rev. Rye]

Are you anti semitic? or are you just an all around God hatting biggot?

I think you're missing the point; the problem is not that it's aimed at Jews. The problem is that the translator didn't even consider readibility when he was translating, and tried to use poorly-done (and this is is the key) variations on Yiddish and Hebrew (the former of which wouldn't have even existed until a millennium after Jesus' time) in a vain attempt at trying to get the translation to appeal to its audience.

The problem, you see, is not that it's aimed at Jews. The problem is that it's utterly unreadable. The fact that it's aimed at Jews, but wasn't done by one doesn't exactly help matters.

And here's the thing; there's so many translations of The Bible because the original text has so many nuances in the original text that none of the versions out can hope to encompass it all. But that doesn't stop people from trying. That's also why a lot of old foreign-language books (for instance, The Tao te Ching, or Don Quixote) have so many different translations. It's not just for demographical reasons; It's also because every translation is found wanting in regards to the original.

That said, I still think the Conservative Bible Project is the worst translation of the Bible.

[Marnie]

Wow, you didn't even look at the link did you? If you did you would know it's a "Messianic Jewish" English paraphrase meant to make evangelical Christianity appeal to Jews by using excessive Hebrew and Yiddish terms, often incorrectly. Did Jesus speak Yiddish or did the ancient Isrealites? Lol, no. It's not a Hebrew transliteration or translation. It's English with a barrage of "Jewey" sounding words thrown in. It was made by a go ..... I mean guy, named Philip Goble.

I guess I consider this a bad translation because of the excessive Yiddish and Hebrew in a vain attempt to make fundamentalist Christianity Jewish. Or maybe it's the awkward paraphrasing and syntax in order to "Jew it up a bit more." Or the lack of footnotes, just sticking the note directly in a verse. MAYBE IT"S THE ENTIRE SENTENCES RANDOMLY CAPITALIZED FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

What is the purpose of a given translation other than to speak to a segment of the population that say another could not reach? Otherwise why do we have so many other versions of the same bible? Why do we need a King James or a New King James or an NIV and A Easy to Read? They are all english versions are they not? So what is the difference between the KJV and the ETRV? Isn't the ETRV just a dumed down version of the KJV or NKJV? Isn't it an attempt to reach the segment of the population not familiar with the poetry of the kings english? Why is main stream common english speakers allowed to have a simple english version tailored to the terms and dialect they are comfortable with, and the those who come from a devoute Jewish back ground riticuled for seeking out a bible translated for them in the same spirit?

Are you anti semitic? or are you just an all around God hatting biggot?

I'm going to say at least a portion of orthodox Jews speak perfectly normal, fluent English. They have their own websites:

http://www.jewfaq.org/
http://www.aish.com/
http://beta.chabad.org/

Look around on there, no one's spouting off in some bizarre Heyidlish. Everything is perfectly readable. The Chabad Lubavitchers are Chassidim even. The main audience of these websites is clearly Jews, and they speak normally.

Have you ever looked at a Jewish bible translation into English?

http://beta.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo...-Rashi.htm
http://www.breslov.com/bible/
http://bible.ort.org/books/pentd2.asp

Ex. 20:7–9a:
זָכוֹר אֶת-יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת לְקַדְּשׁוֹ. שֵׁשֶׁת יָמִים תַּעֲבֹד וְעָשִׂיתָ כָּל-מְלַאכְתֶּךָ. וְיוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי שַׁבָּת לַיהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ לֹא-תַעֲשֶׂה כָל-מְלָאכָה ...

yields the following:

ARYEH KAPLAN: Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. You can work during the six weekdays and do all your tasks. But Saturday is the Sabbath to God your Lord. Do not do anything that constitutes work....

SAMSON RAPHAEL HIRSCH: Remember the Sabbath day to sanctify it. Six days shall you serve and do all your [creating] work, and the seventh day is a Sabbath to God, your God. On it you shall not perform any kind of [creating] work....

ARTSCROLL: Remember the Sabbath day to sanctify it. Six days shall you work and accomplish all your work; but the seventh day is Sabbath to HASHEM, your God; you shall not do any work....

SCHOCKEN: Remember / the Sabbath day, to hallow it. / For six days, you are to serve, and are to make all your work, / but the seventh day / is Sabbath for YHWH your God: / you are not to make any kind of work....

NEW JEWISH VERSION:Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of the LORD your God: you shall not do any work....

The orthodox Jewish bible:
8 Remember Yom HaShabbos, to keep it kodesh.
9 Sheshet yamim shalt thou labor, and do all thy work:
10 But the Yom HaShevi’i is the Shabbos of Hashem Eloheicha; in it thou shalt not do any melachah, thou, nor thy ben, nor thy bat, thy eved, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy ger that is within thy gates;

That's one of the more readable verses by far. The point I'm making here is the Jewish translations aren't at all like the OJB and they're meant for Jews. Even orthodox Jewish bibles aren't like the OJB. There are of course Charedi Jews who only speak Hebrew and Yiddish and speak no to very little English. This bible is still pretty useless to them because it's written in English and uses a different alphabet than Hebrew and Yiddish. There are also Hebrew and Yiddish New Testament versions already.

http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Hab...-Haderekh/
http://archive.org/details/haberithahadasha00berg

I really doubt there are any orthodox Jews out there speaking some strange, bastardized Hebrew-Yiddish-English-Christianese. This bible is trying and failing to appeal to Jews and make Christianity Jewish.