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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 6:53 pm
I met my wife when I was thirty one, and there was no question. It hit me out the blue we were from the very first moment an item. From that day on our life has been a trail of undeliverable sometimes hilarious disasters, that no sane person would believe and we have inextricably been sinking for twenty three years, but we are still as much an item as on that first day. Disasters that were just not predictable have been our constant companion, for instance my pregnant wife an I were on the last plane into Split Airport, as the Yugoslav war kicked off.
My grandfathers became firm friends in the trenches of the first world war, my father's father's first born and and my mothers fathers youngest girl, were not just born on the same day, but at exactly the same time. When they married it was as if it had been ordained. And their marriage was one of unending turmoil hate and recrimination, but they were of an age where divorce was out the question.
What do I think about marriage? Fuck knows.
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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm
I'm getting married as well. And, I like to think that both of us have been through enough stupid shit and bad relationships that we know we're both doing this because we really love each other. We both know which expectations are reasonable and which are not.
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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 8:29 pm
I've been married 10 years and the first 4 we struggled with a $250 aday herion habbit. A very long story short, we use to long/wish for the 'deal breakers' problems you mentioned in your OP. We learned that Marriage is more than sex, more than the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you first meet, more than an idea partnership where both people always benfit, where neither party suffers and everything is a 50/50 effort.
Marriage is one of the best oppertunities for one to learn what true love is. 1co13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
But if you bail just because you wife doesn't jingle your jangle the way she use to, then you will miss out on the best part of marriage. The jingle/jangle part is to help you form a bond not easily broken so you can go through the hard times together. If the superficial bond' is all you seek then you will never know true love.
Once you learn to Love as God has designed you to love then bringing sex back into the relationship is just natural. But, if you bail when the going gets tough then you have to start over, and all you will ever know of love is a faction of what it truly means.
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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 8:33 pm
(October 16, 2012 at 8:29 pm)Drich Wrote: I've been married 10 years and the first 4 we struggled with a $250 aday herion habbit. A very long story short, we use to long/wish for the 'deal breakers' problems you mentioned in your OP. We learned that Marriage is more than sex, more than the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you first meet, more than an idea partnership where both people always benfit, where neither party suffers and everything is a 50/50 effort.
Marriage is one of the best oppertunities for one to learn what true love is. 1co13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
But if you bail just because you wife doesn't jingle your jangle the way she use to, then you will miss out on the best part of marriage. The jingle/jangle part is to help you form a bond not easily broken so you can go through the hard times together. If the superficial bond' is all you seek then you will never know true love.
Once you learn to Love as God has designed you to love then bringing sex back into the relationship is just natural. But, if you bail when the going gets tough then you have to start over, and all you will ever know of love is a faction of what it truly means.
You used to have a heroin habit? Suppose you got saved after that did you?
Would have been easier to not have a habit in the first place and be atheist.
By the way, if you're not getting enough sex - your marriage is fucked.
You are currently experiencing a lucky and very brief window of awareness, sandwiched in between two periods of timeless and utter nothingness. So why not make the most of it, and stop wasting your life away trying to convince other people that there is something else? The reality is obvious.
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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 8:35 pm
(October 16, 2012 at 8:33 pm)Norfolk And Chance Wrote: By the way, if you're not getting enough sex - your marriage is fucked.
True. My former minister father-in-law says there are two deal breakers: Money and sex.
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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 8:37 pm
(October 16, 2012 at 8:33 pm)Norfolk And Chance Wrote: (October 16, 2012 at 8:29 pm)Drich Wrote: I've been married 10 years and the first 4 we struggled with a $250 aday herion habbit. A very long story short, we use to long/wish for the 'deal breakers' problems you mentioned in your OP. We learned that Marriage is more than sex, more than the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you first meet, more than an idea partnership where both people always benfit, where neither party suffers and everything is a 50/50 effort.
Marriage is one of the best oppertunities for one to learn what true love is. 1co13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
But if you bail just because you wife doesn't jingle your jangle the way she use to, then you will miss out on the best part of marriage. The jingle/jangle part is to help you form a bond not easily broken so you can go through the hard times together. If the superficial bond' is all you seek then you will never know true love.
Once you learn to Love as God has designed you to love then bringing sex back into the relationship is just natural. But, if you bail when the going gets tough then you have to start over, and all you will ever know of love is a faction of what it truly means.
You used to have a heroin habit? Suppose you got saved after that did you?
Would have been easier to not have a habit in the first place and be atheist.
By the way, if you're not getting enough sex - your marriage is fucked.
No my wife was an addict. Her problem became my problem. hence "We/Our problem."
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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 8:39 pm
(October 16, 2012 at 8:37 pm)Drich Wrote: (October 16, 2012 at 8:33 pm)Norfolk And Chance Wrote: You used to have a heroin habit? Suppose you got saved after that did you?
Would have been easier to not have a habit in the first place and be atheist.
By the way, if you're not getting enough sex - your marriage is fucked.
No my wife was an addict. Her problem became my problem. hence "We/Our problem."
I admire that you took that baggage on.
You are currently experiencing a lucky and very brief window of awareness, sandwiched in between two periods of timeless and utter nothingness. So why not make the most of it, and stop wasting your life away trying to convince other people that there is something else? The reality is obvious.
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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Addicts are always addicts, some just enter recovery. That being said, I have to give you props for sticking it out, that's not easy.
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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 8:42 pm
(October 16, 2012 at 8:35 pm)festive1 Wrote: (October 16, 2012 at 8:33 pm)Norfolk And Chance Wrote: By the way, if you're not getting enough sex - your marriage is fucked.
True. My former minister father-in-law says there are two deal breakers: Money and sex.
If you don't have enough sex, or no sex, then you are just room mates. You could be room mates with anybody and have no sex with them instead. Yet some people, usually the ones that aren't interested in sex, can't see the problem.
You are currently experiencing a lucky and very brief window of awareness, sandwiched in between two periods of timeless and utter nothingness. So why not make the most of it, and stop wasting your life away trying to convince other people that there is something else? The reality is obvious.
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RE: Do you believe in marriage?
October 16, 2012 at 8:44 pm
(October 16, 2012 at 8:42 pm)Norfolk And Chance Wrote: If you don't have enough sex, or no sex, then you are just room mates. You could be room mates with anybody and have no sex with them instead. Yet some people, usually the ones that aren't interested in sex, can't see the problem.
Which is not a problem if both parties have no interest in sex, but often a deal breaker if the libidos aren't matched.
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