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What do you do in Heaven?
November 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm
Just been browsing the FSTDT archives and came across something that inspired this little thought.
What do all of you who are 'saved' expect to do when you get to your heaven? After all, eternity is a long time, a kind of infinity if the advertising's anything to go by. Even if we take eternity simply to mean until the end of the Universe, that's still a hell of a lot of hours to fill. How do you imagine doing that? Perpetual sudoku?
Incidentally, the corollary question doesn't really apply, since we hellbound heathens apparently have a full itinerary mapped out for our eternities; what with all that torture and fire and hanging out with history's great thinkers.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: What do you do in Heaven?
November 6, 2012 at 10:38 pm
Every time jesus stands up they'll have to go with him as their lips are sewn to his ass.
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RE: What do you do in Heaven?
November 6, 2012 at 10:41 pm
A human centipede party? I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I do know it certainly wasn't that! 
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: What do you do in Heaven?
November 6, 2012 at 10:43 pm
(This post was last modified: November 6, 2012 at 10:48 pm by Cato.)
(November 6, 2012 at 10:38 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Every time jesus stands up they'll have to go with him as their lips are sewn to his ass.
Fucking awesome! The final installment of the Human Centipede movie franchise. I always knew they would eventually eat shit.
Stimbo,
I know you want to hear from the godboys; however, I can't resist including my favorite depiction of heaven and hell:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXThbqU0dw4
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RE: What do you do in Heaven?
November 6, 2012 at 10:53 pm
After reading Revelation, I'm pretty sure it involves dropping a metric fuckton of acid.
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RE: What do you do in Heaven?
November 7, 2012 at 4:31 am
I did read somewhere on this forum that logically, you couldn't have free will in heaven, so what you do is whatever god wants.
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - J.R.R Tolkien
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RE: What do you do in Heaven?
November 7, 2012 at 5:19 am
(This post was last modified: November 7, 2012 at 5:21 am by Edwardo Piet.)
Whatever you do in heaven, if it isn't heavenly it isn't really heaven. If it turned out not to be blissful then I don't care whether I'm talking to God or not, it's not heaven.
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RE: What do you do in Heaven?
November 7, 2012 at 5:26 am
(November 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Just been browsing the FSTDT archives and came across something that inspired this little thought.
What do all of you who are 'saved' expect to do when you get to your heaven? After all, eternity is a long time, a kind of infinity if the advertising's anything to go by. Even if we take eternity simply to mean until the end of the Universe, that's still a hell of a lot of hours to fill. How do you imagine doing that? Perpetual sudoku?
Incidentally, the corollary question doesn't really apply, since we hellbound heathens apparently have a full itinerary mapped out for our eternities; what with all that torture and fire and hanging out with history's great thinkers.
What do you do in heaven? Get bored I suppose? I mean the first thousand years will probably be decent, as long as you like worshipping the lord and massaging his ego every day, but after that, well...?
I mean in actual reality, a good lifespan I reckon would be 1,000 years, but anyway...
And doesn't an eternity of heaven make this actual life look like an inconsequential, tiny worthless speck - why bother going through the 80 years or so of actual life in the first place?
Why do christards never think of this shit and then think "...oh, hang on?"
And of course godschild think that maybe god will allow him to run his own galaxy in the afterlife, yes he actually said that.
You are currently experiencing a lucky and very brief window of awareness, sandwiched in between two periods of timeless and utter nothingness. So why not make the most of it, and stop wasting your life away trying to convince other people that there is something else? The reality is obvious.
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RE: What do you do in Heaven?
November 7, 2012 at 5:28 am
(November 7, 2012 at 5:26 am)Norfolk And Chance Wrote: What do you do in heaven? Get bored
If you get bored then it's not eternal bliss and hence not heaven. If you get bored then it's not eternal bliss it's bliss-for-a-while-until-you-get-bored, which isn't the definition of heaven.
In true heaven boredom would be impossible.
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RE: What do you do in Heaven?
November 7, 2012 at 5:38 am
(This post was last modified: November 7, 2012 at 5:38 am by Norfolk And Chance.)
(November 6, 2012 at 10:43 pm)cato123 Wrote: I know you want to hear from the godboys; however, I can't resist including my favorite depiction of heaven and hell:
Cato, that video was funny, but one thing I always ponder is this - when atheist comedians go to countries like America and make fun of religion and irrational religious beliefs you get the audience laughing so hard, with only an occasional heckler...
Does that not contradict the statistics that say only 5% or whatever, are atheists? Surely more of the audience would be offended.
Or do religious people genuinely like laughing at how big a twat they all look?
Or maybe, most of them deep down are atheists...
You are currently experiencing a lucky and very brief window of awareness, sandwiched in between two periods of timeless and utter nothingness. So why not make the most of it, and stop wasting your life away trying to convince other people that there is something else? The reality is obvious.
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