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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
June 11, 2015 at 12:00 am
Well, studies have shown that people who have more birthdays tend to have longer lifespans. So congratulations for living longer than you have ever done; now let's see if you can beat that record.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
June 11, 2015 at 1:41 am
Way to put pressure on me! 
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
June 20, 2015 at 9:57 am
(This post was last modified: June 20, 2015 at 9:59 am by Exian.)
I beat all y'all! I think this qualifies under "epicness".
(June 20, 2015 at 9:50 am)Crossless1 Wrote: [Dispatcher]: 911, what's your emergency?
[Caller]: I'd like to report a disturbance.
[Dispatcher]: What is the nature of the problem?
[Caller]: I have this neighbor whose yard is a threat to children.
[Dispatcher]: What do you mean, sir?
[Caller]: The yard is gay.
[Dispatcher]: Gay? Is that what you said, sir? Gay?
[Caller]: Yes, gay. Relentlessly gay. Aggressively gay.
[Dispatcher]: I see. Can you elaborate?
[Caller]: Well, there are colored jars hanging everywhere. And everything is groomed.
[Dispatcher]: I'm not sure that qual--
[Caller]: And rainbows.
[Dispatcher]: Rainbows?
[Caller]: I'm pretty sure they are growing orchids somewhere.
[Dispatcher]: Wait, orchids? I don't --
[Caller]: Yes, orchids. Like Robert Mapplethorpe orchids. It's disgusting!
[Dispatcher]: Growing orchids isn't a crime.
[Caller]: But the children! I'm a god-fearing--
[Dispatcher]: Look, I don't see any reason--
[Caller]: When I think of them having anal sex--
[Dispatcher]: They are having sex in public?
[Caller]: No, but their yard! It's, it's . . .
[Dispatcher]: I don't think their is any reason to send--
[Caller]: I, um . . . well, er, did I mention that they are black?
[Dispatcher]: Stay on the line, sir. I am sending a squad car immediately.
http://atheistforums.org/thread-34087-po...#pid969476
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
July 2, 2015 at 12:03 am
Holy shit, I wish I could steal the last sentence. I LOVE this.
From Esquilax:
Quote:That's for much the same reason that it's impossible to point to a forest when you're inside it; you end up just pointing at trees, while the forest itself is pervasive. You lie so much, at so many varying intensities, that it's basically the background noise of every conversation we have with you.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work. If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now. Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
July 2, 2015 at 3:18 am
(June 11, 2015 at 12:00 am)Stimbo Wrote: Well, studies have shown that people who have more birthdays tend to have longer lifespans. So congratulations for living longer than you have ever done; now let's see if you can beat that record.
'If you live to be 100, you've got it made. Very few people die past the age of 100.' - George Burns
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
August 22, 2015 at 9:57 pm
(August 22, 2015 at 9:28 pm)Homeless Nutter Wrote: Because to us - it's just a discussion, with almost nothing at stake. Randy on the other hand is desperately fighting for his salvation and the eternal life he's been conned into believing in - and failing at it. It's morbidly fascinating - like watching a venomous spider trying to climb out of the bath-tub.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
September 22, 2015 at 10:00 am
(This post was last modified: September 22, 2015 at 10:01 am by The Grand Nudger.)
http://atheistforums.org/thread-35781-page-23.html
Raises a glass to Drake-
Quote:This is supposed to be a system manufactured by a superior mind. Its brilliance should be obvious.
#230
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
September 22, 2015 at 12:52 pm
Sorry, but this really quite tickled me. But then I'm drunk:
(September 22, 2015 at 12:46 pm)houseofcantor Wrote: If I click on a thread and see someone's ass hanging out, I'm breaking out the paddle. Cause it's fun.
It really takes a lot to make me laugh these days, vodka notwithstanding, so you truly earned this my friend.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
September 22, 2015 at 12:55 pm
(September 22, 2015 at 12:52 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Sorry, but this really quite tickled me. But then I'm drunk:
(September 22, 2015 at 12:46 pm)houseofcantor Wrote: If I click on a thread and see someone's ass hanging out, I'm breaking out the paddle. Cause it's fun.
It really takes a lot to make me laugh these days, vodka notwithstanding, so you truly earned this my friend.
Good one, houseofcandor.
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RE: Hall of wit and epicness.
October 9, 2015 at 11:06 am
From the Debate Solely Though the Medium of Memes thread:
The set up:
(October 9, 2015 at 10:18 am)Clueless Morgan Wrote: ![[Image: leher_meme.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=images1.browardpalmbeach.com%2Fimager%2Fmitt-romney-wins-debate-by-way-of-lies-li%2Fu%2Foriginal%2F6438620%2Fleher_meme.jpg)
The knock-out punch:
(October 9, 2015 at 10:25 am)Evie Wrote: ![[Image: sab8a.jpg]](https://i.imgflip.com/sab8a.jpg)
I'm still laughing at this 
Teenaged X-Files obsession + Bermuda Triangle episode + Self-led school research project = Atheist.
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