Hilarious quotes by theists.

[Autumnlicious]

Time for some true gems from ChristianForums!

Thinking for ourselves is quite dangerous..

Would it not, rather, be prudent to seek the Lord and Live?

Zeena,

REF: http://www.christianforums.com/t7407188-6/#post53009630

Ok...let's plant the feet firmly on the ground and imagine what kind of changes Obama would initiate in America.

1. There will be more mosques and Islam will become dominant.
2. Racial tensions will increase.
3. Gays and abortionists will be given more rights.
4. Taxes will go sky high to subsidize special interests.
5. Christianity will undergo greater attack and laws will be passed that the Bible is hate speech.
6. Obama's pals will be appointed to his cabinet and include known terrorists and hate-mongers.
7. Obama will accept terrorist organizations/countries and deal face to face with Hamas and Hezbollah to the detriment of Israel.
8. America's military strength will be weaker as Obama cuts military.
9. Obama would give away our sovereignty to the UN or other global government.


Furthermore, of course politicians speak and lie to get votes for their own self interests.

None of the candidates are good. This country is hobbling along and is being done in as we speak by economic gymnastics and contortions that are giving an appearance that all is well to the general public while the government is stocking up on necessities.

Paranoid? I'd say that it's more like my eyes are open and it isn't pretty.

REF: http://www.christianforums.com/t7099062-6/#post46684516

Why are unbelievers pro-abortion, but believers are against abortion?
We already know for a scientific fact that life begins at conception, and that human life begins once the woman's egg begins it's cellular division (meiosis) after fertilization.
Being armed with these scientific facts, why do the Atheists and the unbelievers do the non-scientific thing and adopt an arbitrary reference for their definition of life? Why does one (confused) unbeliever point to the first trimester and yell, "There!" and another (confused) unbeliever point to the second trimester and yell, "No, it's there!"
A third yet will withhold pointing the finger until the baby's head has completely emerged from its womb!

Is it that with the unbeliever politics will always trump reason? And if the unbeliever always allows politics to trump reason, what right does he have in saying religion is unreasonable?

Fellow-believers, do you think there's a cure for this deficiency of the human condition?

REF: http://www.christianforums.com/t7298870/#post49048213

[Joe Bloe]

"A missionary I knew watched a bullet headed for him do a RIGHT ANGLE before it got to him. - MartyrInTraining, FulfilledProphecy.com [2007-Jan-08] "

The Menai Anglican Church in Sydney Australia has a preacher named Steve Wakeford. Steve says that a missionary named Graham Martin was so successful in converting New Guinea natives to Christianity that the local witch doctor decided to kill him with a bow and arrow. Graham just stood there, thinking he was about to die as the arrow hurtled towards him and then, says Steve,

"...it stops, a foot away from his chest, in mid-air, then snaps in two, and falls to the ground, yeah, exactly."


The whole sermon is still available here:
http://www.menaianglican.org/index.php?M...D=1&CID=57
* Click on the link to get to a list of sermons.
* Go down to Sermons 2008.
* Second on the list is: 12th April 2008 Spiritual Warfare (Steve Wakeford)
* Right click on it
* Then left click on Save Target As
* It's a 5 MB download (mp3)
* The story begins at the 8m 15s mark

You'll also hear about the 100 angels that crammed into a house to protect Graham Martin from a gang of arsonists, and the story of a nice young suburban housewife who became a randy lesbian and needed good old Steve to exorcise her sexual demons.

It's a real swinging church, the Menai Anglican.

[theVOID]

I bet the congregation ate that right up

[Joe Bloe]

I bet the congregation ate that right up

He knew his audience alright. That sermon was given to teenage boys from the youth group.

[Minimalist]

What's wrong with randy lesbians?

[Dotard]

Yes! I demand someone answer Mini's most important question. All other points in this thread are unimportant.

[Minimalist]

As Woody Allen said when Diane Keaton was rattling off "types of love"

"Two women...don't forget my favorite."

[Ashes1995]

heres a good one:

"Only God could know minute details of what would happen to individuals, cities and nations thousands of years in advance. When people see the end-times prophecies being fulfilled, they’ll have solid reason to put their faith in the God of the Bible. Jesus spoke of the apologetic value of prophecy when He said, “Now I have told you before it happens, so that when it happens you may believe”"-fulfilledprophecy.com

what a load of old tripe

[Minimalist]

I always love to ask the prophecy freaks how come god fucked up the Tyre prophecy?

[downbeatplumb]

I always love to ask the prophecy freaks how come god fucked up the Tyre prophecy?

And in that thime there would be rumours of things going astray.
He would not be able to find things that he'd left on the side the night before about eight o'clock.

The book of cyril