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~Funny Movie Quotes~
#11
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
(February 14, 2013 at 5:54 am)Esquilax Wrote:
(February 13, 2013 at 9:43 pm)Stimbo Wrote: I did naht hit her; I did naht. Oh hai Mark!

Definitely The Room. Tongue

God, the delivery on that line's something else, huh?

The only word I can think of that best describes it is 'stunning'. For writer, director and actor Tommy Wiseau, the entire film is a testament to his total inability to write, direct and act.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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#12
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
Here's one for you:

Him: What's that?

Her: It's sushi.

Him: You won't accept a guys tongue in your mouth and you're going to eat that?

Her: Can I eat?

Him: I don't know. Give it a try.


And one more:

Guy 1: Want a beer?

Guy 2: It's 7:30 in the morning.

Guy 1: Scotch?
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Einstein
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#13
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
(February 14, 2013 at 5:39 pm)Baalzebutt Wrote: And one more:

Guy 1: Want a beer?

Guy 2: It's 7:30 in the morning.

Guy 1: Scotch?

Horrible Bosses? Big Grin

My favorite scene:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE0wRYOwh6I
If I were to create self aware beings knowing fully what they would do in their lifetimes, I sure wouldn't create a HELL for the majority of them to live in infinitely! That's not Love, that's sadistic. Therefore a truly loving god does not exist!

Quote:The sin is against an infinite being (God) unforgiven infinitely, therefore the punishment is infinite.

Dead wrong.  The actions of a finite being measured against an infinite one are infinitesimal and therefore merit infinitesimal punishment.

Quote:Some people deserve hell.

I say again:  No exceptions.  Punishment should be equal to the crime, not in excess of it.  As soon as the punishment is greater than the crime, the punisher is in the wrong.

[Image: tumblr_n1j4lmACk61qchtw3o1_500.gif]
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#14
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
(February 14, 2013 at 4:50 pm)Stimbo Wrote: The only word I can think of that best describes it is 'stunning'. For writer, director and actor Tommy Wiseau, the entire film is a testament to his total inability to write, direct and act.

"You're tearing me apart, Lisa!" Big Grin
"YOU take the hard look in the mirror. You are everything that is wrong with this world. The only thing important to you, is you." - ronedee

Want to see more of my writing? Check out my (safe for work!) site, Unprotected Sects!
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#15
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
Quote:- Johnny got drunk last night, and he hit me.

-- Johnny doesn't drink!

Quote:- I got the results of the test back - I definitely have breast cancer.

-- Look, don't worry about it.

Quote:Let's go eat, hah?

Quote:Anyway, how is your sex life?

We could fill a whole thread just with these, couldn't we? Thank you, Tommy Wiseau!
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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#16
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
"And according to one of our units on the border of Centauri space, they've continued massing their fleet. We don't know why. Maybe they expect a counter attack, it's hard to say. And they have much to be concerned about. There's always the threat of an attack by say, a giant space dragon, the kind that leaves the sun every thirty days. It's a nuisance, but what would you expect from reptiles. Did I mention that my nose was on fire? That I have fifteen wild badgers living in my trousers? I'm sorry, would you prefer ferrets?"
Marcus to Ivanova, Messages from Earth

"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
Marcus Cole, Ranger to Franklin, A Late Delivery from Avalon[i/]

"Commander! Did you threaten to grab hold of this man by the collar and throw him out an airlock?"
"Yes I did."
"I'm shocked. Shocked and dismayed. I'd remind you that we are short on supplies here. We can't afford to take perfectly good clothing and throw it out into space. Always take the jacket off first, I've told you that before. Sorry, she meant to say: Stripped naked and thrown out an airlock. I apologize for any confusion this may have caused."
[i]Sheridan and Ivanova, The Illusion of Truth
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
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#17
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
The majority of Full Metal Jacket is a goldmine for hilarious insults and fucked up quotes.

Full Metal Jacket - Boot camp scene. (Most of Sgt. Hartman's lines were improvised)


More boot camp - Pvt. Joker the atheist?


Full Metal Jacket - Helicopter Scene

"How can you shoot women and children?" "Easy, you just don't lead em so much. Ain't war hell!"


Jokers Monologue at the end

"My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary-jane rotten crotch."


American Werewolf in London:

"A naked American man stole my balloons."


Lord of War - AK-47


Can't find a good clip for these ones:

"I don't want to be remembered at all. If I'm being remembered, it means I'm dead."

"They say, Evil prevails when good men fail to act. What they ought to say is, Evil prevails."

"You fuck! You fucking fuck! You fuck- you fucking fuck! What the fuck is the matter with you?"
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#18
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
Oh god... people have been talking about Tommy Wiseau. Please stop. Just thinking about him makes me want to vomit in a baby's mouth.
Cunt
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#19
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
(February 14, 2013 at 4:50 pm)Stimbo Wrote:
(February 14, 2013 at 5:54 am)Esquilax Wrote: Definitely The Room. Tongue

God, the delivery on that line's something else, huh?

The only word I can think of that best describes it is 'stunning'. For writer, director and actor Tommy Wiseau, the entire film is a testament to his total inability to write, direct and act.

The Room, legendary bad movie, now a legendary bad video game...

The Room - The Game



MM

(February 13, 2013 at 2:17 am)missluckie26 Wrote: Normally, someone would have to go to a bowling alley to meet someone of your stature.

I'm fairly sure this was frm the Original version of Arthur with Dudley Moore. His butler, Hobson says it to Linda?
"The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions" - Leonardo da Vinci

"I think I use the term “radical” rather loosely, just for emphasis. If you describe yourself as “atheist,” some people will say, “Don’t you mean ‘agnostic’?” I have to reply that I really do mean atheist, I really do not believe that there is a god; in fact, I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one ... etc., etc. It’s easier to say that I am a radical atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it’s an opinion I hold seriously." - Douglas Adams (and I echo the sentiment)
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#20
RE: ~Funny Movie Quotes~
I highly recommend this movieWink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIEQXIkXrPU
If I were to create self aware beings knowing fully what they would do in their lifetimes, I sure wouldn't create a HELL for the majority of them to live in infinitely! That's not Love, that's sadistic. Therefore a truly loving god does not exist!

Quote:The sin is against an infinite being (God) unforgiven infinitely, therefore the punishment is infinite.

Dead wrong.  The actions of a finite being measured against an infinite one are infinitesimal and therefore merit infinitesimal punishment.

Quote:Some people deserve hell.

I say again:  No exceptions.  Punishment should be equal to the crime, not in excess of it.  As soon as the punishment is greater than the crime, the punisher is in the wrong.

[Image: tumblr_n1j4lmACk61qchtw3o1_500.gif]
Reply



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