Telling Religious Family About Nonbelief

[sarcasticface]

Hey there, I'm new to this forum. I know there's probably another thread about this same subject somewhere around here.

Me and my husband kind of decided not to tell our family and friends about our non belief in Christianity. What is your opinion on this?

Do you think it's a good idea to tell your friends and family that you are now an atheist?

Also, tell me the story of when you told your family and friends...

OR

Tell me what it's been like to NOT tell your closest family or friends.

I'm very interested in this.

[paulpablo]

Hey there, I'm new to this forum. I know there's probably another thread about this same subject somewhere around here.

Me and my husband kind of decided not to tell our family and friends about our non belief in Christianity. What is your opinion on this?

Do you think it's a good idea to tell your friends and family that you are now an atheist?

Also, tell me the story of when you told your family and friends...

OR

Tell me what it's been like to NOT tell your closest family or friends.

I'm very interested in this.

Not if you're granparents are christian and they might give you a sum of money in their will or leave you their house. That's sort of the case with me, I always forget how religious other parts of my family are until there's a wedding and i get remarks of disapproval about my lack of church attendance and how i haven't settled down with a girl to marry yet.

Last time i turned up at a church for a family wedding i made the mistake of making a joke something like "wow this place looks different from when i was last here, but i think that was when i was being baptized" and my uncle just looked at me really angrily/ sadly and said "yeh probably was".
I just genuinely forget that parts of my family take the whole believing in god thing seriously.

I don't tell the older members of my family anything but i talk to my parents about how ridiculous religions are but I don't say i definitely don't believe in god. Which is pretty much the truth, I believe there could be a higher power but nothing as simple as a god who tinkers around creating but not getting things right then flooding destroying and who is supposed to be all powerful but gets some angels to do some of his tasks for him or gets his son to die for him.

[Minimalist]

My folks found out when we decided not to baptize our first. They weren't great catholics - translation - idiots - but they were unhappy that there wasn't going to be a party.

I don't think they gave fuck-all about jesus.

[Fruity]

Eventually, if your family is anything like mine, the truth will be squeezed out of you. My family (the whole thing, aunts, uncles, cousins, mom, dad, siblings, ALL) is a family of Christian ministers. We have pastors, preachers, church choir singers, Sunday school teachers, you name it. Skip a whole lot of things and there I am reading the Bible thinking, "I think I'm atheist." Of course, I didn't want to admit it. I tried to hold on to faith. I was mostly scared of going to hell, losing my family, and being hated by the church.

One day my brother came out and told me he was atheist. I started crying and he thought I was going to pray for him (or throw out demons lol). When I finally caught my breath I told him I was atheist, too. Ever since then that's all we can talk about (just between him and me). We talk about how we missed out on so much as kids and young adults. We talk about how we want to raise our kids differently. We talk about how it pisses us off that church controlled us the way it did. We even talk about what we think it was really when we thought we felt the presence of God. We are discovering so many new things and we feel like we were sick and now we are cured.

I came out to my parents thinking they would get a heart attack. They didn't. They cried and began to read all kinds of things to "help us". They ended up disregarding the Bible as the word of God.

As to the extended family... here's the tricky part. My mother did not want us to say anything in order to not offend the family. The thing is that our whole family is made up of debater types. We always had these reunions where doctrines were shared and argued over, we would sit for hours talking about Pentecostal beliefs and all the derivatives we could find. We questioned every preacher and always ended up finding ways in which he was wrong or right and then debates would happen. This was always. So here we are now sitting in the same reunions having nothing to say. I mean, we could fake it, but we don't want to. So people began asking questions. They don't mind being offensive. We noticed this now, since we are not wearing "spiritual lenses". We notice how arrogant they were while questioning our "cold status". I love my mom, but my thoughts scream at me when I bite my tongue. So, I decided to let them kind of figure it out. I was ready to come out as an atheist. One day I said all of this on a Dawkins page and it went public on my FB (duh, that was naive of me), and tadaaaaaaaaaaa! Everyone knows. What was so scary after all? They think I'm wrong, yes. They worry, not really. Mostly they feel superior. Who cares? I stopped caring. I live in transparency. I don't feel they need to know every detail, but knowing that I no longer believe is enough for now. I'm free from chains. I'm cured from a mental sickness.

lol when you asked for stories I don't think you thought you'd get this chapter, but hey, I don't get to share it enough.

[pro sports5]

If Darwin says that blacks are soon going to die ofF and it's sick children in the hospital should die off because they are all the weaker of the species in "the descendants of man" then it is that what you guys believe too?

[Minimalist]

WTF are you babbling about?

[Jackalope]

If Darwin says that blacks are soon going to die ofF and it's sick children in the hospital should die off because they are all the weaker of the species in "the descendants of man" then it is that what you guys believe too?

Hello, there, Mr. 'i win you lose.com'.

Goodbye.

[iameatingjam]

A part of me wants to tell every atheist they should come out because the more of us there are known then the less of a minority we will be considered and atheism will gain respect/acceptance.

However, I realize I can't really see it from all angles. I don't live in the US, I haven't seen any consequences from being atheist, my family is no longer practicing Christians and in fact religion doesn't affect me directly at all. If I lost family/friends or my job on account of my open atheism I might have something different to say.

I guess your just going to have to weigh the pros and cons my friend. Good luck!

[Mystical]

At first when I considered calling myself what I was (athiest) as opposed to what I'd been all my life (Christian), I did an inventory of every believer I knew (which was my entire state and 99% of my family members). I don't know at what point I stopped caring: but, I think it was once I had figured out that my life was mine, not HIS or anyone elses' for that matter. I realized that everyone who loves me will HAVE to love me still no matter what I believe, and if some don't: good riddance. So, I did the natural thing to do: I changed my facebook religion status to agnostic athiestt. Then, I told those who matter the most to me inadvertantly so they wouldn't have to find out via Facebook. My mom was fine with it, my dad I still haven't told outright so he still talks to me like Jesus is forefront on my mind and hopes theres still hope for me, and well: here's what I got from my brother who blamed my best friend who incidentally is still a believer Boy did he feel dumb later.

God loves you baby. He always will, and he always will. Through the sun of man you are afflicted, and through our disobedience to God we are left to the binding of our ancestors world. You've been decieved, by your new "family." Id rather die in a sewer than say that the creator of the universe doesn't love me. Mom can say that, dad can say that, even YOU can say that, and I shall never believe it. Live your troubled days here, Melissa. You can be sure I will have nothing to do with if your faith has left you.

What makes you think God didnt afflict you to save your life? Your "friend" led you into a path of drug abuse, alcoholism and rape? If anything, your disease saved you from being a puke slathered corpse on a Denver turnpike. And now one of the contd that stole you from peace of life has convinced you that God isnt real? You disappoint me, and unless God finds mercy upon your soul, I will not know you in heaven. These are my terms. Accept Jesus' sacrifice and believe in the creator of all, or be forgotten by the kingdom of heaven.

Hey. Im so sorry I told you to fuck off the other night, I dont care if you don't believe in God. It just took me awhile to absorb it. Im always here for you, no matter how far your away. I love you sis. I always will.

In the end, they'll come around. They gotta respect you just as much as you do them. It's a law or something.

[naimless]

I questioned my mum on it once when I was just agnostic but she didn't understand what I meant when I asked why the koran is a less reliable source than the bible.

My sister understands me a bit more - she gets that if we were born in Iran we'd be muslim instead and her and my dad understand vaguely why organised religion is part of the cause of most of the world's problems.

Nevertheless, I mentioned I was an atheist at the dinner table once with just my dad and my sister and still I felt the hostility. They think it is okay for my mum to be devout if it makes her happy.

I have to admit my mum is a very generous person so I feel bad that I can't believe what she does in many ways. On the other hand it is very frustrating to be patronised by her.

I have a lot of mental health issues now I can't approach my family (and therefore family doctor) about because they simply wouldn't be able to comprehend the things I experience. I really wish I didn't understand things like quantum physics and the age of the universe - they are great things to know, but not when no one else around you knows them.

Furthermore, if I make friends who are atheists and scientists, they don't have the family issues I do so don't understand either. They were raised without a god so it isn't an issue for them.