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Clever answers for all occasions
#11
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
Q: Do you believe in god?
A: Why the fuck would I do something so mind numbingly stupid.
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#12
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
(April 4, 2013 at 3:42 am)FallentoReason Wrote: Christian: you're just angry at God

Atheist: I can't be angry at something I don't believe exists.

Why would I be angry? He has never bothered me.

(April 4, 2013 at 4:51 pm)cato123 Wrote: Q: Do you believe in god?
A: Why the fuck would I do something so mind numbingly stupid.

OK but this is a game of confuse a christian.
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#13
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
(April 4, 2013 at 3:38 am)A_Nony_Mouse Wrote: The believer asks, Have you found Jesus?

The atheist answers, Not only did I not know he was missing, I didn't know I'd been volunteered to go look for him.
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#14
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
"Do you want to know the way to heaven"
-Are you going to be there?
"Yes"
-No. :closes door:
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#15
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
Why would I want to go to heaven? All my friends are in hell!!
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#16
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
Christian - Do you really think the universe came about through natural processes?

Atheist - Yes

Christian - Why?

Atheist - Science.

Christian - Science hasn't proven that.

Atheist - Yet.

Christian - How long are you willing to wait?

Atheist - As long as you're willing to wait for Jesus.
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#17
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
xtian: You're going to hell.

atheist: Perhaps, but I can't wait to see the look on your face when you arrive and realize I'm in charge.
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#18
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
(April 4, 2013 at 7:54 am)Tiberius Wrote:
(March 30, 2013 at 6:48 am)FifthElement Wrote: When they ask me "Soooo, what happens to you when you die? " I usually say "the same thing that happened to me before I was born", that in most cases confuses the crap out of them Smile
So, when you die, you're going to gestate for 9 months inside a woman? Poor woman...

I guess if you can't get inside a woman while you live, at least you can fantasize about getting inside a woman after you die.
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#19
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
(April 4, 2013 at 7:54 am)Tiberius Wrote:
(March 30, 2013 at 6:48 am)FifthElement Wrote: When they ask me "Soooo, what happens to you when you die? " I usually say "the same thing that happened to me before I was born", that in most cases confuses the crap out of them Smile
So, when you die, you're going to gestate for 9 months inside a woman? Poor woman...

Lol, I actually meant to say "the same thing that was happening to me before I existed" not " before I was born", sorry for the confusion, lol Big Grin
Why Won't God Heal Amputees ? 

Oči moje na ormaru stoje i gledaju kako sarma kipi  Tongue
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#20
RE: Clever answers for all occasions
Christian: Do you know Jesus?

Atheist: I met him at a party once, but I was more interested in hanging out with Carl Sagan, Gandhi, and Alan Turing.


Christian: Have you found Jesus?

Atheist: Found him? I'm the one that told him to get lost in the first place!
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