Posts: 30974
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation:
141
Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 1, 2013 at 4:10 pm
OK, so we know that humans coexisted with dinosaurs, and even rode them. How do we know that? Duh, obviously, everyone knows that!
The real question is - WHICH dinosaurs did humans ride? Unfortunately, this is not a question that science has an answer for - so we must look elsewhere. Maybe Jesus can help us!
Jesus was a carpenter. Carpenters make ladders. Ladders are used to climb tall things.
What can we conclude from this? Obviously, if Jesus rode a dinosaur, it was a TALL one. Amirite?
Posts: 67289
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 1, 2013 at 4:12 pm
Well, I think we can rule out anything with a ridged back, as that would ring satan's doorbell in females and tickle the wrong hole in males - which we know god abhors. The list of candidates shrinks.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 473
Threads: 31
Joined: February 2, 2013
Reputation:
7
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 1, 2013 at 6:28 pm
Jesus told me my ancestors rode a Titanoboa They feed it evil non believers. They were the reason they slowly lost use of limbs and slithered. see they were a bit hefty and all rode at once. needless to say the Titanoboa go real tired of our shit after that.
Posts: 7155
Threads: 12
Joined: March 14, 2013
Reputation:
72
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 1, 2013 at 6:35 pm
Raptors. What self-respecting person would not want to ride around on a raptor? 40 or 50 MPH top speed, turn on a dime, and will fucking eviscerate the first person to try and cut you off. Probably without even breaking stride.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."
-Stephen Jay Gould
Posts: 5170
Threads: 364
Joined: September 25, 2012
Reputation:
61
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 1, 2013 at 6:42 pm
Posts: 6300
Threads: 78
Joined: May 14, 2011
Reputation:
82
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 1, 2013 at 7:17 pm
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
Posts: 12586
Threads: 397
Joined: September 17, 2010
Reputation:
96
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 1, 2013 at 7:25 pm
I threw back my head and laughed and made my boyfriend scowl at me in disgust.
Posts: 113
Threads: 3
Joined: April 5, 2013
Reputation:
3
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 17, 2013 at 9:37 pm
This question was answered during the invasion of Grenada
Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind - even if your voice shakes.
Maggie Kuhn
Posts: 19789
Threads: 57
Joined: September 24, 2010
Reputation:
85
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 17, 2013 at 11:22 pm
(This post was last modified: April 17, 2013 at 11:28 pm by Anomalocaris.)
(April 1, 2013 at 4:10 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: OK, so we know that humans coexisted with dinosaurs, and even rode them. How do we know that? Duh, obviously, everyone knows that!
The real question is - WHICH dinosaurs did humans ride? Unfortunately, this is not a question that science has an answer for - so we must look elsewhere. Maybe Jesus can help us!
Jesus was a carpenter. Carpenters make ladders. Ladders are used to climb tall things.
What can we conclude from this? Obviously, if Jesus rode a dinosaur, it was a TALL one. Amirite?
No. Jesus, using his omniscience, came to be aware that dinosaurs too would hear his word and come to commune with him by eating of his flesh, except not quite so symbolically
So the prince of peace, in the spirit of turning the other cheek, learned carpentry so he can fashion a tooth pick of appropriate size for the dinosaur to use after the Eucharist.
So the question is not which dinosaur did Jesus ride. The question is which dinosaur has had the holy communion.
Posts: 30974
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation:
141
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
April 17, 2013 at 11:27 pm
Well played, sir.
|