Funniest Bible verse ever!

[That guy who asked questions]

"God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, & of love, & of sound mind. -2Tim 1:7”

BAHAHAHAHA. It explains itself! Unless you believe it to be true lol.

[FifthElement]

Here is my favorite

Truth or dare test for every Christian:

Mark 16:15-18

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

[Minimalist]

"Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses." (Ezekiel 23: 19-21)

"and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions." (Ezekiel 23: 21, NRSV)

This is how you know that the guy with the littlest dick wrote most of this shit.

[Cato]

NOT fucking your dead brother's wife will get your ass capped:

"And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him. And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also." (Genesis 38:7-10)

[littleendian]

Get down on your knees and start pleasing Jesus, Jesus I want to feel your salvation all over my face!

ROFLMAO!!!

[Doubting Thomas]

Here is my favorite

Truth or dare test for every Christian:

; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all

What most people probably don't know that in those snake handling churches they milk the poison out of the snakes before allowing people to handle them. Or at least, most of the time they do. Sometimes people get bit and get sick.

BTW, I'm an atheist and I pick up snakes with my hands. Of course I'm smart enough to not pick up the poisonous ones.

[downbeatplumb]

Genesis 32:22-32

So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak"

Gayest paragraph ever.

[NoraBrimstone]

Nothing beats Ezekiel 23:20:

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

---

Actually, there's also Luke 19:29-36, where Jesus is revealed to be a thief.

As he approached Bethphage and Bethany at the hill called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it.’”

Those who were sent ahead went and found it just as he had told them. As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, “Why are you untying the colt?”

They replied, “The Lord needs it.”

They brought it to Jesus, threw their cloaks on the colt and put Jesus on it. As he went along, people spread their cloaks on the road.

[Doubting Thomas]

Genesis 32:22-32

So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak"

Gayest paragraph ever.

Of course that was before Leviticus 18:22.