RE: The Last Movie You Watched
February 4, 2019 at 1:09 am
(This post was last modified: February 4, 2019 at 1:09 am by Rev. Rye.)
This week in the DEEP HURTING PROJECT:
Glitter.
This is a film with a very bad reputation. So bad that this is actually on the Wikipedia article:
And shockingly, as I watch this, I have to admit, this is actually the most tolerable film I've watched for the Deep Hurting Project. Granted, it's nowhere near a good film, but at least it has some idea of what the general shape of the plot is supposed to be, unlike
Saving Christmas or
The Disappointments Room (even if it is poorly sketched and the character development just barely existent). Unlike
Jem and the Holograms, it can go at least a minute without doing something so stupid I think about watching something else (don't get me wrong, there's a bunch of stupid things, like the fact that the film can't tell 1983 from 2001 or the fact that Mariah Carey and her love interest manage to collaborate on a song psychically). It at least doesn't try to butcher beloved franchises like
Fant4stic or
Jem and the Holograms (even if it did temporarily derail Mariah Carey's career). And when the most unlikeable character in the film shows up, at least it takes a while before I want him dead, like how Carey's love interest Dice slowly starts showing shades of Paul Snider and the film doesn't realise it, unlike in
Bio-Dome when I hate Pauly Shore's character the second he comes on screen.
Why, yes, that is some damn faint praise. The plot is a pretty stock melodrama, Mariah Carey's tits do a better job acting than her, and they don't give enough of a shit to make a film set in 1983 look like the Eighties. Seriously, in Todd in the Shadows' review of the film, he scores an early scene with the Talking Heads' "Burning Down the House" and that's still far more Eighties than the actual production team put into the film. Still, is this one of the worst films of all time? No, not really. Hell, I can think of five films from that year alone I hated more than this film off the top of my head:
- Pearl Harbor
- Monkeybone
- Planet of the Apes remake
- The Animal
- Ghosts of Mars
It's shit, but if it wasn't a cinematic vehicle for a huge pop star, nobody'd give a shit about it.